Not What She Seems
by Savage7289
Summary: On a futile search for zombies, archeology professor Edward comes across a young Bella as the only other apparent survivor after an apocalyptic event. Their age difference and his awkwardness keep them apart at first, but as they grow closer, he begins to wonder if she the girl she seems to be. E/B, rated M.
1. Chapter 1

******Not What She Seems**

**By Shay Savage**

**Author's Notes:**

******Disclaimer:** All the Twilight stuff belongs to Stephenie Meyer. No copyright infringement is intended. I'm just borrowing her cup of sugar.  


Ummm...Savy? Savy? WTH are you doing?

I have no idea. Let's just wait and see, hmm?**  
**

**I had yet to even come up with a cool hat to wear when I wasn't teaching classes.**

* * *

**Not What She Seems**

**Chapter 1**

I'd seen the same scene in a dozen different movies and television shows over the years. Hell, there was even a fast food commercial at some point in the nineties, but to look down the center of a six lane highway and see…nothing. No people, no animals, moving cars, It was just so…so…

Cliché.

What was going to be next? Zombies trying to eat my brain?

It had been exactly seventeen days since I came down from the cabin I owned up in the Appalachian Mountains and found the little shop where I usually bought more gas for the Jeep devoid of life. The whole little town was empty, just like I-64 outside of Charleston, West Virginia, where I was now.

I'd seen no one.

I kept thinking there had to be someone somewhere, but no matter where I looked – small trailer parks or hotels in the cities – there had been nothing. No people, no bodies, very few clues. Whatever happened must have happened fast.

Or maybe I had just lost my mind, and all of this was just some screwed up dream created to keep me entertained. It was possible. Campus life had certainly become predictable and boring for this particular tenured professor of archeology. Thoughts of being the next of Indiana Jones were in the past. I had yet to even come up with a cool hat to wear when I wasn't teaching classes.

The closest I ever came to being anything like Harrison Ford's character was when I wore glasses while teaching, and I got hit on by a student once. He wasn't my type, though. I guess I still didn't quite end up with the life I had hoped for and expected as a young man in school. At least I had the opportunity to shape some of the young lives I came into contact with now.

Well…I did, anyway.

I reached up and rubbed at the scruffy beard that had formed over the last several days. The weather had been remarkably pleasant, which made traveling a lot easier. Nights were a bit cool, but the tent I had looted from Dick's Sporting Goods was enough shelter given the late May temperatures.

During the days, I'd been walking.

Walking and watching – hoping to catch some glimpse of someone out there. The closest I had come to so far was insects. I hadn't seen a single mammal – just bugs and various other creepy-crawlies in the ground. No birds, no snakes, not even a squished toad on the road.

Nothing.

I was getting to the point where I kind of wishes there were some zombies around to fight. At least then I would feel like I had some sort of purpose. Even if they ended up killing me or biting me and turning me into one of them it might be better that what I had going on at the moment. As it was, I thought I might just die of boredom.

At night, I had been updating a journal. I thought maybe someone would find it someday and they would at least know who I was and what I had been doing. After two weeks I stopped. I was no one, and I wasn't doing jack-shit except walking down a highway waiting to see if there was anyone left in the world.

When I crossed over the Kanawha River, I wondered if the water might be a better form of transportation. If nothing else, my feet were killing me, and it would be a nice change of pace. Maybe if I knew how to hot-wire a car or something I'd be able to find one that runs, but I didn't. I just knew my Jeep stopped all together when it ran out of gas. None of the pumps would work, and they just didn't make cars as siphon-able as they used to.

_Where was the survivalist in these situations?_ I wondered. Wasn't there always supposed to be some guy whose daddy brought him up in the backwoods of some God-forsaken hick town who knew everything about how to survive when the world had ended, but couldn't get along with any of the other people because he was ultimately a nutcase? What about those people who were on that TV show? What was it called? Doomsday Preppers? Where the heck were those people?

That's what I got for picking reality over a television show or a movie.

I made my way carefully down a muddle bank to the edge of the water and then towards the boathouse I had seen from the highway. I went inside – since the door was open – just to see if there was anything useful I could take with me. I found the keys to motorboats, but I wasn't sure that was really what I wanted. Gas was a problem, and it seemed easier to go with something a little more manual.

There were several of those good-sized paddleboats out by the docks. A couple of them had canopies, which would be good for a bit of shelter, and I could either let the current take me where it wanted or use the paddles to direct myself to shore.

On a table, I found a couple of canvas bags which were in good condition, and I figured they would be handy for something. They were also light weight and fit in my backpack without making any noticeable difference. There were also some batteries, which were definitely worth their weight.

Once I had everything stowed in the backpack, I filled my canteen with fresh water from the sink and headed outside to pick out a boat.

"Don't move!"

The sound alone made me jump nearly out of my skin. Before I had even registered the meaning of the two-word sentence, I was already turning around to see who had uttered it.

"I'll blow your fucking head off!" said a young girl with long, mahogany hair and a dirty face. In her fingers she gripped some sort of handgun, which was pointed roughly in the direction of my face.

Well, this was bound to make the day more interesting.

* * *

**Chapter End Notes:**

Soooo...yeah. Like I said, I have no idea. Don't ask me. We'll just wait and see what happens, shall we?**  
**

Like other Quick Fics, these are going to be short chapters that update frequently. I won't swear to daily or even every other day - I still have other stuff to work on, but I needed a break this evening, and this is what you got.


	2. Chapter 2

**Author's Notes:**

**********Disclaimer:** All the Twilight stuff belongs to Stephenie Meyer. No copyright infringement is intended. I'm just borrowing her cup of sugar.  


********Nope, still don't know where this is going or whether or not there will be zombies. Random thoughts in chapter form. This is what my insomnia gets you!

******"Are we ever coming back here?"**

* * *

**Chapter 2**

Maybe it was the whole boredom turned into total apathy about life I had going on in my head, or maybe it was because I was pretty sure the safety was on, but there was something about the girl that made her a lot more cute than scary, even with a gun pointed at me.

_Girl_ was right, too. She was young – probably not any older than my freshman students. She had long beautiful hair and expressive brown eyes. She was dressed like she walked out of a fashion magazine, with some strategically placed holes in her Levi jeans and the A&F logo on her t-shirt. The shoes were, of course, Nike all the way. She even had a bunch of those rubber bracelets on her wrist that started with the bicyclist.

"Hi," I said. "Um…I'm not going to hurt you or anything. Do you think you could put that down?"

"Who are you?" she demanded in a voice that was far too young-sounding to be frightening.

"Professor Cullen," I told her. "I teach at West Virginia State. Well, I did anyway. Archeology. My focus was on ancient Rome and Egypt. Are you a student?"

"No," she said. "I haven't picked a university yet."

"Just graduated high school?"

She nodded. I had been about right on her age, at least.

"I'm really not looking to hurt you," I said again. "You are actually the first person I've seen in over two weeks. Do you have some family around here somewhere? Friends?"

Her head shook slowly back and forth.

"Everyone's gone."

"Do you know where they went?"

"No," she said. "My parents went to a lecture series over the weekend, and they let me stay home. They didn't come home Sunday night like they were supposed to. When I tried to call, the phone wasn't working. I started looking for people then, but I had pretty much given up. You're the first I've seen."

"What's your name?" I asked.

"Bella," she responded. "Bella Swan."

"Bella, do you think you could put the gun down now?"

She frowned but at least lowered it. Her hands still gripped it nervously, and I got the impression she had probably never fired one before in her life.

"Thanks," I said. "It's kind of hard to talk with a gun pointed at you."

"Sorry," she said. "I just…I didn't know…"

"It's okay," I told her. I felt like I was talking to a wounded animal or something, though I had no idea why I was doing that. "Do you have food or anything? I have some, if you're hungry."

"No, I ate this morning," she told me. "My house isn't far away, and I…well, I broke the window of the grocery store."

She dropped her eyes to the ground, and her cheeks flamed with red.

"I think under the circumstances, that was probably an okay thing to do," I told her.

"You think?"

"Yes, I do." I scratched my jaw and looked back towards the boats. "I did it myself just a couple days ago. I was going to see about taking one of these boats a ways down the river. It would beat walking, and the university isn't too far from the water. You could…well, you could come along, if you want."

Her brow furrowed and she narrowed her eyes at me again.

"There isn't anyone else here," I reminded her. "It would be best if we stuck together. Maybe we'd find some more people – maybe even someone who knows what happened."

She seemed to think about it for a minute, and then the hand holding the gun dropped down against her leg. A moment later, the gun clattered to the floor as she rushed at me and threw her arms around my neck.

"I've been so scared!" she cried against my button-down shirt. "I didn't know if there was anyone left at all! I didn't know what I was supposed to do!"

Not really sure what I should do, I ended up just kind of putting my hands on her waist to keep her from completely crushing herself against me. I let her soak my shirt for a minute, and then tried to get her to calm down, but hysterical teens were not exactly my specialty. Even when I had to deal with them, it was usually over a poor grade of a blue-book test, not the end of the world.

REM songs started rumbling around in my head, but I didn't really feel _fine_.

I patted her back a few times until she finally relaxed. She finally released me, and I took a step backwards and gave her a half smile I hoped didn't look as creepy as it felt.

"I'm sorry," she said.

"It's all right," I said gently. "I don't really know what to think of all this myself."

"Do you have a family near the university?"

"No," I said with a shake of my head. "I never got married or anything, and my parents have been gone for a while. No brothers or sisters – just me."

I had no idea why I was babbling, but it seemed like a decent plan to get to know her a little bit. The first step to getting to know someone was to tell them about yourself. At least, that's what the self-help books said. I had never actually tried it out before.

"I don't have any brothers or sisters, either," she told me. "My parents should have been in Cincinnati, and all the houses in my neighborhood are empty."

Damn, if the technique didn't actually work!

"Did you go inside them?" I asked.

"Some," she said. "I kind of got tired of breaking in and not finding anyone. The last one I tried had an alarm system, which went off for half a day before all the electricity stopped working."

"When was that?"

"Um…the third day," she said. "Two weeks ago now, I think."

"Well, do you think you want to come with me?" I asked her.

"I don't want to be alone," she told me.

I followed her up the hill to a small, humble neighborhood. The houses were nice enough, and the yards look like they were usually tended to regularly. There were lots of perennials and even the start of a vegetable garden in one of the side yards. Bella went inside the house, and I followed as far as the foyer. It didn't take her long to pack a backpack full of clothes and whatever else she wanted to take with her.

"Are we ever coming back here?" she asked quietly as she closed the door behind us and locked it with a key on a lanyard.

"I don't know," I told her.

She took a long breath, looked back at the house once, and then reached out and grabbed my hand. I tensed a bit, not sure what to think of it. There was the initial sensation of skin-on-skin, the warmth and softness of her hand, and my typical male biological response to her youthful beauty. There was also the very real knowledge that I was definitely closer to her father's age than hers.

She seemed to need the comfort of human closeness, though, so I would have felt bad if I didn't allow her the simple touch. I gripped her hand in a way I hoped felt familial, and we set off down the street and back to the boathouse. It wasn't long before we were paddling, side-by-side, out onto the river.

I glanced over at her as we moved away from shore, and wondered just what she was thinking. It occurred to me that she accepted me very quickly, and I wondered how wise she had been to do so. I was older and larger than she, and perfectly capable of harming her if I cared to. I didn't, of course, I couldn't even stand to eat a steak if someone reminded me where it came from, but she didn't know that.

I probably should have wondered about how wise _I_ was.

Well, this was bound to make the trip more interesting.

* * *

**Chapter End Notes:**

Is it a clue? It is more babbling? Who knows?**  
**


	3. Chapter 3

**Author's Notes:**

**********Disclaimer:** All the Twilight stuff belongs to Stephenie Meyer. No copyright infringement is intended. I'm just borrowing her cup of sugar.  


****Happy Monday! Thank you all for the amazing number of reviews already! You make it all worth while! Yeah, I might be a bit crazy.

**"You can't do that!"**

* * *

**Chapter 3**

The temperature went up a lot, or maybe just the sun reflecting off the water made it seem hotter. Maybe it was the young girl next to me who seemed to make me just a bit uncomfortable with how close to me she chose to sit. Whatever it was, it was causing me to sweat into my shirt.

I loosened the top few buttons and glanced sideways at Bella. She was looking over at the bank of the river, so I decided to just go for it. I was wearing a white T-shirt under the button down anyway. I probably would have taken the T off as well if I had less company, but I just removed the top shirt instead. Not that I was ashamed about how I looked or anything – my house was right across the street from the University's rec center, and I spent several evenings a week keeping fit. I was no body builder, but I didn't look too bad for a guy approaching his fourth decade.

At least the movement of the boat made for a decent breeze.

As I removed the button down completely, Bella's eyes moved over to me. She watched intently as I pulled the long sleeves down my arms and neatly folded the shirt up before finding a spot for it in the backpack.

"That looks more comfortable," she remarked.

I smiled and glanced down, letting a bit of a nervous laugh escape me.

"It is," I admitted. "It's just a little warm today."

"You're right!" she said with a big smile. A moment later she reached down to the hem of her T-shirt and pulled it over her head.

"Whoa!" I cried out as I quickly looked away from the light blue lacy bra that was now the only thing covering her breasts. "What are you doing?"

"The same as you," she said, sounding confused. "It's hot, and this is more comfortable – like you said."

"Bella!" I fought with the urge to turn around to face her as I talked to her. "You can't do that!"

"Why not?"

"Because…because…you're a girl!"

"But it's hot," she said again, though there was less conviction in her voice. "I'm still partially covered, just like you are."

"That's just not…appropriate," I informed her. I tried not to think too much about how _appropriate_ probably didn't matter too much at this point, but I was raised by a fairly old-fashioned family as opposed to the hippie-like parents of my peers. I kept my eyes on the rippling water and away from the half-naked teen girl next to me. "Please put it back on."

"All right." I could hear the shuffling of clothing, and when I glanced back to her, she was staring back at the water, her expression still confused. She glanced at me sideways. "I didn't think I was doing anything wrong."

I took a long breath and let it flow back out my nose.

"It's not that it was wrong, per se…it just…" I tried to come up with the right words. "It just made me a little uncomfortable."

"Shouldn't you put your shirt back on then?"

"I have another shirt," I pointed out. My fingers pinched a bit of the fabric of my T-shirt and pulled it away from my sweaty skin. "You don't."

"I'm wearing a bra," she said.

"That is not the same at all."

We lapsed into silence for some time. I wasn't sure about her, but I was almost wondering if we would be better off without each other's company. Though I knew well enough that most people preferred to be surrounded by others, I had never been that way. I preferred the silence and calm of solitude. There was the more logical part of me that realized personal preferences about such things lost some meaning in a survival situation.

Didn't they?

I never spent a lot of time thinking about the future. My interests had always been in the past or – on a good day – maybe the present. Wondering how the game of Senet was played three thousand years ago was much more interesting to me that indulging in a game of cards with a group of co-workers over the weekend.

When we reached Dunbar, we moved closer to the shore and hit land near Aaron's Creek. There wasn't much in the way of shopping around the university, and the Dunbar Village Shopping Center had the supplies we could use. I also wanted to check around the area to see if there was anyone else around. Finding Bella had definitely given me a lot more hope of finding others as well. If there was one more person there had to be more around somewhere.

Not in Dunbar, apparently.

We stopped at the Kroger and went after various foods that were both light weight and easily cooked without electricity. I had one of those little camp stoves for heating things up, but I needed propane to make it run and there didn't seem to be any around. I did grab lighters, matches, candles, and some basic over the counter drugs.

Out of curiosity, I walked to the animal hospital about a mile from the shopping area. Though I went all through the place, there wasn't a single dog or cat to be found.

"Where do you think they all went?" I asked in a low voice. I wasn't really expecting an answer, and actually startled a little when Bella responded.

"They could have been vaporized by a weapon of some sort," she said.

"Wouldn't there be some kind of remains?"

She raised an eyebrow at me.

"Not if they've been vaporized. That's what the word means."

"Good point," I conceded. "But what kind of weapon does that?"

"Don't those nuclear bombs do that?" she asked.

"Not without leaving behind a lot of other destruction. Radiation, too."

"How do you know there isn't any radiation?"

I thought for a minute.

"I guess I don't, really. I think we would feel sick or something by now if there was, though. Do you feel sick?"

"Not at all," she replied. "I'm very healthy. When I was a child I received all the required vaccinations at the appropriate intervals."

I laughed, but when I glanced at her, she wasn't smiling. As I closed my mouth, she smiled slightly.

"It was a joke," she said with a quick nod.

"It sounded like one," I said. "I have to admit I don't really hear a lot of them, though."

"Jokes are a fundamental part of the human experience," she said. "Laughter is important to us, and part of what keeps us healthy."

"Really?" Though I occasionally watched an old sit-com, I wondered how often I actually laughed.

"Humor tends to attract people together as well," she added.

"It does?" I swallowed past the thickness that suddenly lodged in my throat.

Well, this was bound to make me reconsider my sense of humor.

* * *

**Chapter End Notes:**

That might be it for a while - got to get going on the next Caged chapter as well as spend my day off doing the Christmas shopping and laundry...

Thanks to NoWayWithWords, who pointed out the city of Dunbar to me.


	4. Chapter 4

**Author's Notes:**

**********Disclaimer:** All the Twilight stuff belongs to Stephenie Meyer. No copyright infringement is intended. I'm just borrowing her cup of sugar.  


Happy hump day! Thanks to Sydney Wright for providing a cover for the story. I got a lot of banners and such already! Thank you all who provided them! I'll be using them all at some point! I wish I could choose a dozen covers...**  
**

Thanks for all the reviews as well! I haven't managed to read too many yet - I hope to get caught up tonight!

**"You want me to sleep in there?"**

* * *

**Chapter 4**

My house near the university was exactly how I left it – door locked, alarm set, and everything in its place. I wasn't sure what I had been expecting, though I would have been lying if I said I still wasn't half listening for the tell-tale moan of the walking undead. However, we still hadn't seen a single soul – living or otherwise.

Bella followed me throughout the house as I checked every room, verified the electricity was definitely out, and then fired up the grill in the backyard. There was some chicken at the bottom of the deep freezer that was still frozen, and I figured it was as good as anything to eat. If we grilled some onions and potatoes with it, it made for a decent meal.

Bella insisted on chopping up the vegetables, and once she had them lying out on some foil with butter on top, she started going through my spices, sniffing every one of them, and then adding some to the food. I didn't know what she thought she was doing, but I figured she must have some cooking skills at her age.

Boy was I wrong.

I ate it anyway, but whatever the heck she had put on the potatoes was not a good idea. It tasted like a combination of garlic salt, paprika, sage, cayenne pepper, allspice and nutmeg. It was just…nasty.

She smiled while she ate it, though, so I did, too.

"Now what?" she asked as we cleaned up the last of dinner.

"I thought we should probably just stay here tonight," I said. If I was going to be completely honest, I didn't have any kind of real plan, so I came up with one on the spot. "I'd like to look around campus in the morning. There's a radio station for the students, and I figured it would be worth checking it out – just to see if there was any way of receiving or transmitting a signal to someone."

"Who do you think might hear it?"

"I don't know," I said with a shrug. "We know there are at least two people around, so there must be more somewhere. We're a lot more likely to reach someone over a radio than just walking around."

She nodded.

"Oh wait!" I exclaimed as I set the last dish in the drying rack. "I forgot about that!"

I went into the living room and lifted up the top of the end table designed to also serve as a little storage area. Inside I had some emergency supplies – a few candles, matches, flashlight, extra batteries, and a hand-crank radio.

"What's that?" Bella asked.

"It's a radio," I told her, "but it doesn't need any electricity."

Sitting on the edge of the couch, I spent the next two minutes turning the crank around and around, and then fired it up to hear a lot of static on every channel I tuned it to.

"It was a good thought," Bella said.

"It might still come in handy," I hoped. "If we move on to another city we might find a signal there."

"So we'll leave this area?"

"I guess it depends on what we find tomorrow. If we don't find anyone, we'll keep moving until we do."

I packed the radio in my backpack along with the flashlight, candles and batteries. It was getting late at that point, and I went to the linen closet to get some sheets, and pillow, and blankets out for the couch.

"What are you doing?" Bella asked.

"Well, I…ah…" I stuttered. "I don't have a guest room, so I thought I'd sleep out here. My room is in there – the sheets are clean. I always change them on Saturday mornings, and I left Saturday afternoon."

I nodded down the hallway in the direction of my bedroom and the bathroom.

"Feel free to use the bath…or shower…I mean, if you want to or anything."

"You want me to sleep in there?" she asked as she looked into the hall towards the open bedroom door.

"Well, it would be more comfortable," I said. "So…um…yeah, I thought so."

"While you are out here?" she clarified.

I narrowed my eyes a little. I didn't quite understand why she was questioning the arrangement. I was fairly certain it was a normal set up for two people who weren't married or dating or anything. Even when I was first dating Kate, I slept on the couch when she came in from out of town. We had done that several times before the relationship became more intimate.

Granted, that had been several years ago, and I had no idea how much the culture had changed since then, but I didn't think it would have changed _that_ much.

"Yes?" I replied. I didn't mean it to sound like a question, but it did.

"Why?" she asked. The space between her eyes wrinkled as she stared at me intently.

"Well, ah…" I stammered. I let out a nervous laugh. "My mother always said I should be a gentleman, so you take the bed. I insist."

She glanced back into the bedroom again.

"The bed is larger than a bed designed for a single person," she remarked.

"It's a queen sized bed," I confirmed.

"Wouldn't there be room for both of us?" she asked.

I started coughing uncontrollably. After clearing my throat a couple of times, I glanced at her to see she was still patiently awaiting my answer.

"Bella," I said, and then paused as I tried to figure out how I should phrase it. "I teach at this university, and you are about the age of one of my students. It wouldn't be appropriate for us to…um…sleep in the…ah…same room."

"Oh," Bella said, and the lines between her eyes deepened somewhat. She picked up her backpack and started moving towards the bedroom, but turned back towards me before she got there. "Professor Cullen?"

"Yes?"

"Are you a homosexual?"

Well, this was bound to be awkward.

* * *

**Chapter End Notes:**

Seriously dude...**  
**


	5. Chapter 5

**Author's Notes:**

**************Disclaimer:** All the Twilight stuff belongs to Stephenie Meyer. No copyright infringement is intended. I'm just borrowing her cup of sugar.  


Apparently, as some have noticed, Apocalypseward has issues with math. By "approaching my fourth decade" he meant approaching 40, not 30. Sorry for any confusion Edward's lack of math skills may have caused for anyone. It has nothing to do with my personal math skills, of course…

So yes, Bella is 18, Edward 38. I might even have a reason for that at some point.

**I was beginning to wonder if I wasn't in some sort of shock.**

* * *

**Chapter 5**

"Wha…wha…what?"

"Are you a homosexual?" She repeated, as if I really needed to hear that again. "Someone who prefers the intimacy of the same sex."

As if being hit on by a male student wasn't bad enough.

"I know what it _means_!" I cried out with indignity. "And no! No, I am not!"

It wasn't as if I found anything wrong with anyone's sexual orientation – I didn't. What I didn't understand was people's assumption that since I wasn't overly outgoing or boisterous that it must have something to do with my preferences. It was probably part of the reason most of my dates over the past few years had been arranged via internet dating sites.

Curse Doctor Emmett McCarthy of the physics department for ever convincing me to put a profile out on _hotsingleteachers-dot-com._

"I don't know what gave you such an impression," I told her, "but you are certainly incorrect."

Her head tilted slightly to one side, she nodded once, and then disappeared into the bedroom.

I let out a long breath and felt like I could relax a bit for the first time since the girl had put a gun to my head. Not that I had felt threatened – I hadn't really at all. I probably should have been, but even if she had appeared to know what to do with a gun – which she didn't – she was just so young and innocent looking that she couldn't come off as dangerous even when she tried.

No, my nervousness stemmed from my own known issues. I just didn't do well around people in general. I was actually grateful she was so young, because had she been closer to my own age I probably wouldn't have been able to even look her in the eye. As it was, I could consider her as one of my students, which made it better.

Students were whole different animals. I wasn't even sure half of them were human at all considering their speech patterns, their choice of clothing that was actually hazardous to walk around while wearing, and their general lack of any behavior I would consider polite. Teaching them about the cultures and traditions of the ancient past occasionally seemed to open their minds, but not nearly often enough.

I ran my hand through my hair and leaned back against the couch. Being back in my own house with the knowledge of what was going on outside was just surreal. As the hour grew later and the room grew darker, I tried to wrap my head around the last two weeks.

No one at the gas station.

No one in the cities.

No one on the roads.

There weren't any abandoned cars on the road either, which was especially strange. There had been parked cars all over the place – driveways, parking lots, on the sides of the streets – but not on the roads. Whatever happened to everyone it had at least happened fairly _neatly_.

I was beginning to wonder if I wasn't in some sort of shock.

I changed into the pair of pajama pants that were still in my backpack and crawled under the blanket. Though my body was worn out, my mind was too active to go to sleep, and I wished it wasn't so dark so I could read. I probably could have lit a few candles and read by the candlelight, but I would have ended up with a headache.

"Professor Cullen?" a soft voice called from the darkened hallway.

"Yes?" I replied. I sat up and looked over to see a silhouetted form on the other side of the room. "What is it, Bella?"

"Professor Cullen, I'm…I'm…" Her voice tightened, trailed off, and then she broke into a loud sob. "I can't sleep, and I'm scared!"

My heart began to beat faster as I stood and took a couple of steps towards her. The blanket fell around my ankles, and as I tried to kick it away, I ended up so tangled I couldn't move. Of course, I tried to move anyway, which caused me to fall on my face.

"Ow!" I rolled over and sat up, rubbing my nose.

"Oh my God!" Bella cried out. She came over and knelt beside me, tears still running down her cheeks. "I'm so sorry!"

"It's not your fault," I told her as I wriggled my nose back and forth a bit to make sure all was still intact. It seemed to be. I looked to her as she knelt at near eye-level with me, and noticed for the first time what an interesting shade of golden brown her eyes were. They were almost like the color of honey, though I was distracted by the tears still escaping from them. "What frightened you?"

"It's so…_quiet_ in there," she whispered as she sniffed. "I was alone all those nights, and I never knew what was out there, so I just kept listening for any sounds at all. I never heard any, but I still couldn't sleep."

I nodded, understanding exactly what she meant. I had spent the first few nights after the Jeep quit running in the tent, and I had also been unable to sleep – not because of the noise, but because of the _lack_ of sounds.

"I don't want to be alone," she whispered. "Can I stay out here with you?"

"Oh…I…uh…" I blathered as I tried to pull the blanket from my ankles with one hand and keep from pulling off my lounge pants at the same time with the other. "There wouldn't be…any room out here…"

"What about in the bed?" she asked.

"What about it?" I asked. "You can stay in the bed – I already told you that."

"Will you stay in there with me?" she asked.

"Ha ha," I laughed at her little joke, which I really didn't find all that funny. It was odd enough just knowing she was in my bed on her own.

She started crying again.

"What is it?" I asked. I tentatively reached out for her, and then brought my hand back. I wasn't really sure where to put it, especially not after I realized that she was wearing a rather flimsy pink pajama set.

Very short shorts, very low cut neckline.

Nearly see-through.

_Holy shit._

I looked away.

"Please, Professor Cullen!" she cried. "It's dark, and I'm lonely and I'm scared! Please stay in the bed with me!"

I swallowed hard, opened my mouth, and heard the strangest sound come out of it.

"Okay," I said.

Well, this was bound to make me rekindle the journal.

* * *

**Chapter End Notes:**

Dear journal - Penthouse is gonna love this schitz!


	6. Chapter 6

**Author's Notes:**

**********Disclaimer:** All the Twilight stuff belongs to Stephenie Meyer. No copyright infringement is intended. I'm just borrowing her cup of sugar.  


More of this...stuff. Whatever it is.

**_Maybe you _are_ gay._**

* * *

**Chapter 6**

When I was seventeen, I was asked to take care of the cat that belonged to my mother's co-worker while she was on a weekend trip. I had never been to the woman's house before, but my mother gave me the address and it wasn't difficult to find. It was one of those duplexes, and I saw the cat in the window as I came up to the door.

I went to open the door with the key I had been given, but it wasn't quite shut all the way. I didn't think much of it – just figured I'd make sure it shut and locked before I left – and went into the kitchen to find the cat's food dish. The dish wasn't in the kitchen, like the lady had told me it would be over the phone, but I found it near the patio door on the other side of the living room. I fed the cat, gave it some water, then turned around just as this big, fat guy with suspenders and no shirt came out of the bathroom.

The feeling I had when I realized I had entered the wrong unit in the duplex was very similar to the level of anxiety I felt as I slowly lowered myself into bed at the same time Bella was getting in on the other side. She had a bit of a smile on her face, though her cheeks were still stained with tears.

With stiff limbs, I lay down on my back and pulled the sheet and blanket up to the top of my chest. My head was in the center of the pillow as I stared upwards at the blank ceiling. I could feel Bella moving the blankets around as she got into the bed next to me, but I didn't look at her. My mind was spinning around in circles, and I was just trying to catch up.

I was lying in bed with teen aged girl.

To be totally honest, I wouldn't have felt a whole lot more comfortable with it if she had been thirty. We had only met earlier in the day, and under fairly bizarre circumstances. If I had thought I was going to end up in bed with her by the end of the night, maybe I would have suggested going our separate ways.

_Maybe you _are_ gay._

I wasn't. I knew I wasn't. If I was gay, I would have been happier with the idea of a young man lying next to me, and I wasn't. The fact was, I was pretty bad with anyone, and the opposite sex – of any age – usually made me retreat into myself as much as possible.

"Professor Cullen?"

I startled a little at her voice, cleared my throat, and tried to speak.

"Ah…um…yes?"

"I still can't sleep," she said quietly.

I didn't really know how to respond, so I thought about what she had said before.

"Are you scared?" I asked her.

"Not as much," she replied. "Thank you for being here with me."

"You're welcome." It was an automatic response – the kind I preferred. I relaxed just a bit.

"Will you…talk to me?" she asked. "It's still too quiet."

I had to swallow a couple of times before responding.

"Um…about what?" I asked.

"It doesn't matter," she said. "I just want to speak with you – to hear someone else's voice. I was alone for so long, and there was no one there to talk to me."

Her answer was about the worst she could have given me. With some kind of direction, I had a chance, but this was far too open-ended.

"I…I don't know what to say," I admitted.

I wasn't stupid; I just wasn't very good at conversation. It was a lot of the reason I had originally decided to study the people of the past. The never asked to discuss their history with you – you had to infer it from everything around their lives.

"Anything," she said. "You could tell me about your work or your family. We could discuss our theories about what has been happening, or what we should do if we can't find any other people. If you asked me questions, I could answer them."

I let a short, nervous laugh out of my nose.

"Um…yeah, I guess those are options." I reached up and rubbed my fingers into my eyes. At least she had given me a few ideas, which I figured I could use to start the conversation.

"I am a professor of archeology," I told her. "I believe I told you that. I've been with the university for a little over seven years. I am still working on my PhD, and the topic of my dissertation is the recreational activities of ancient Egypt and in what ways those activities influenced the elite classes versus the working class as well as the slaves of the time."

Bella turned over to her side, and out of the corner of my eye I could see her propped up on one elbow, watching me. I glanced over at her, and felt little beads of sweat start to form on the back of my neck.

"It's actually very interesting," I continued to babble. "Egypt was such a different society from the others of the time."

I finally looked over to her fully, and saw her honey eyes glistening in the dark as she focused on what I said. Strangely enough, when I looked at her eyes I didn't feel as uncomfortable as I had before. The next thing I knew, I was going over my entire opening lecture for Ancient Egypt 201.

"…which is why I think Senet would really become quite popular if anyone ever really attempted to rekindle people's interest in a real thinking game. Chess is a wonderful pastime, of course, but I think Senet was less complicated but just as strategic."

Bella yawned.

When she yawned, her eyes closed for a moment, and I blinked a few times. I wasn't sure, but I thought I might have been talking for as long as an hour. Bella's eyes widened a little for a second, and then she glanced at me.

"I'm sorry," I said quietly. "I've bored you silly now, I suppose."

"Not at all," she replied. "I find your thoughts on Senet very…interesting."

"I have a Senet set in my office," I said. "I could show it to you tomorrow."

Tenseness flowed through my arms and legs again, and my eyes flew back up to the ceiling as sweat began to collect on my neck again.

"I would like that," she responded. "I think I am sufficiently tired to sleep now."

Unintentionally, I laughed at her choice of words, and my nervousness faded for a moment.

"It would not be the first time my lectures have put someone to sleep," I remarked.

"Why do you say that?" she asked. Her head tilted slightly to the side as she looked in my eyes, and the creamy skin of her neck lay exposed to me near the sheer pink of her lingerie.

"It's just…something I have heard student say," I replied. "I don't think…um…I don't think I was supposed to hear their comments."

Her eyes narrowed slightly, and I looked away again. Bella turned over so she was lying down fully on the mattress, and I pulled the blanket up a little more. When I glanced at her again, I could see her eyes were closed, and I did the same with mine.

A moment later, I felt her turn again.

She moved to the center of the bed.

Her body pressed up against mine.

She ducked her head under my arm, and laid her cheek on my chest as her arm wrapped around my waist.

Well, this arrangement had just taken a very different tone.

* * *

**Chapter End Notes:**

****"Um...excuse me? Excuse me, miss? Miss? Is this your hand on my stomach? Oh, and your head? Is this your head? I'm terribly sorry, but you seem to have mislaid them."


	7. Chapter 7

**Author's Notes:**

**************Disclaimer:** All the Twilight stuff belongs to Stephenie Meyer. No copyright infringement is intended. I'm just borrowing her cup of sugar.  


Sorry for the delays and such - it's a busy time of year!**  
**

**Sorry, Sting.**

* * *

**Chapter 7**

Both my body and my mind froze.

Even when it came to situations where I was accustomed to what was going to transpire – such as a wedding where dancing with the bride was to be expected – I was likely to be awkward and tense. I would fumble over whatever words I could form, and though I was an accomplished dancer within a class, I would forget the steps as I tried to keep myself from just running out of the room. It took a lot of mental planning on my part to be able to do it, but I had mastered that skill over the years.

I was the only way I could stand in front of a class to teach, so it simply had to be done.

A young girl suddenly cuddling up to me in bed was so unexpected I had exactly zero preparation. Without knowing what I was supposed to do, I did nothing. I was still lying on my back, only now there was Bella's head lying on my chest and shoulder, and her hand resting across my stomach. My eyes continued to stare straight at the ceiling as I contemplated what I should do or say.

Thank God I had pulled up the blanket.

What possessed her to do such a thing was a complete mystery to me. The only guess I had was just for the sense of comfort – she said she didn't want to be alone. There was a rather uncouth part of my psyche that wanted to scream at her to get off of me – that this wasn't only inappropriate but totally uncomfortable mentally.

Physically it was really pretty nice.

That was a thought I shoved far, far into the back of my head. I was not one of _those_ professors. I was not. Of course she was an attractive young woman, but at thirty eight, I was more than twice her age. She would find the whole idea completely asinine, and I would find it absolutely improper.

Her hair smelled nice.

I turned my head a little, fully intending to move my nose _away_ from the influential scent coming from her, but I managed to do just the opposite. I found myself completely immersed in what smelled like a field of strawberry blossoms and freesia, which reminded me of my mother's garden in the springtime.

The memory relaxed me.

Bella's breathing evened out, and her body melted against mine as her muscles joined her mind in sleep, and whatever chance I had to ask her to politely move had been lost. I tried to take in a slow breath to not disturb her too much with my body's movements, and remembered how scared she was earlier – she deserved a peaceful night's sleep. It wasn't like I could wake her up now to ask her to get off of me.

My arm was kind of trapped between us, so I pulled it out. It ended up kind of over my head, which wasn't at all comfortable. Without other options, I moved it around her and up against her back. She was warm, and the material of her pajamas was very soft.

What the hell was I doing?

Another deep breath. I closed my eyes and hoped sleep would come quickly, but of course it did not. Her scent was all I could focus on, and it was pleasant enough I thought I could actually taste strawberries from the pots on the deck where my mother used to grow them. That thought made me feel hungry. Every time Bella shifted slightly she pushed her body closer to me.

That also made me feel a little hungry.

I simply had to stop thinking that way. She had been alone, scared, and disoriented – just as I had been. She needed my help, not my…my…

Whatever the heck this was.

Nothing. That's what it is – nothing.

There was that niggling little bit in the back of my head, though. There was the part of me that knew throughout both ancient and modern times there had always been an attraction of older men to younger women, and younger women to older men. Some even said it was completely instinctual – the man's intrinsic desire to produce offspring guiding him towards a woman's young and fertile form, and the woman's need to have a strong, mature provider for her children. In my time at the university, I had heard one or two colleagues justify their own behavior thusly.

Hell, Sting even sang about it.

Another long, deep breath – slowly in and slowly out to keep from disturbing Bella's sleep.

Bella – pretty name.

Long, dark hair.

Strange but captivating eyes.

Smooth, clear skin.

Soft, pink nightgown.

Young, warm body pressed against mine in my bed.

Fertile.

_Fuck me._

I had to stop thinking that way. Bella would undoubtedly be horrified that the person she was looking to for help was thinking about her in such a way. She definitely looked to me as a guardian – someone to help her understand what was happening around her. As if I had any more of an idea about what was going on than she did. Frankly, I thought I was a little bit in shock from everything myself. The last thing either one of us wanted or needed was any kind of physical attraction that would further complicate the situation.

No, I was not one of those professors.

Sorry, Sting.

One last, deep breath.

I relaxed my mind – telling myself it was my own thoughts responsible for my calmness, and not the scent of Bella's shampoo. I closed my eyes briefly, opened them again, and stared back at the ceiling.

Bella hummed slightly in her sleep, rubbed the side of her face against my chest, and stretched slightly – snuggling a little deeper against me and also a little lower. As she stretched, her arm extended, and then pulled back. Her forearm brushed over my crotch…and then stayed there.

I closed my eyes, held my breath, and tried to will my body to refrain from responding to the gentle touch.

Well, this was definitely going to make everything harder.

* * *

**Chapter End Notes:**

He said _hard_. *snicker***  
**

So - if you haven't heard, I just published my first short story on Amazon! It's called Otherwise Alone. Check it out in the Kindle store in the erotica section! Even if you don't want to buy, just hitting "like" on it will help me out! Links are on my blog. Link to my blog is on my FFN profile. Thank you!


	8. Chapter 8

**Author's Notes:**

**********Disclaimer:** All the Twilight stuff belongs to Stephenie Meyer. No copyright infringement is intended. I'm just borrowing her cup of sugar.  


Well, yesterday's end of the world was pretty lame. Let's see how Professor Cullen copes with the real deal.**  
**

**Breakfast was…awful.**

* * *

**Chapter 8**

I couldn't sleep – not at all.

I managed to move her arm a couple of times, but every time I did, it ended up back at the same place. It must have had something to do with the angle at which she was lying, because nothing else made sense. Eventually I ended up just holding her hand against my chest and keeping a grip on it, but I still didn't manage to sleep much.

The whole time, I mentally dueled with my body. I told it to behave itself, and my _second head_ told me to fuck off.

As soon as the sun starting coming through the window, I untangled myself from the young woman's limbs and quickly ran off to the bathroom. I spent a little…_quality time_ in there, which was not something I normally did at all. Her face was in my mind when I wrapped my fingers around my cock while I tried not to be heard in the other room. By the time I came out, I was so embarrassed for having to have resorted to such behavior I knew I wasn't going to be able to look her in the face all day.

If she noticed any of my indiscretions, she didn't say anything as she came out of the bedroom – still wearing her short, pink pajamas – and followed me into the kitchen.

"Good morning," I said quietly.

"Good morning, Professor Cullen," Bella responded with a large smile. "Thank you so much for sleeping with me last night-"

I nearly spit out my coffee. As it was, I half choked and started to cough, which caused the cup to slosh around a bit and soak my hand and the floor.

"Are you all right, Professor Cullen?" Bella came immediately to my side. "Did you get burned?"

She took the coffee cup from my hand and put it down on the counter, then gently took me by the wrist. Then she turned my hand over and over again as she examined it, then led me to the kitchen sink and ran it under cool water.

"I'm fine," I told her. "Really."

"Burns can be extremely uncomfortable," she said as she continued to rinse my hand to cool it off.

My sleepy mind drifted as her fingers ran over the slightly red spot as they followed the stream of water. The soft touch of her skin against mine felt nice.

What the hell are you doing?

I pulled my hand back away from Bella and the water.

"I'm fine, really," I said. "Thank you."

"It was my pleasure," she said quietly. Her honey eyes sparkled as she smiled at me. "Would you like me to make breakfast?"

…

Breakfast was…awful.

I think they were supposed to be blueberry muffins, but if they were, they were _curried_ blueberry muffins. I could have sworn the "streusel" topping was laced with garam masala, but I choked one down as best I could. At least she hadn't added anything to the orange juice.

Though Bella really seemed to like being in the kitchen – there was a huge smile on her face as she pulled things out of the refrigerator and cabinets – I was going to have to step in and insist on making lunch myself.

My stomach was a little queasy.

After lunch, we trekked to campus and headed for my office, keeping our eyes peeled for any signs of life, but we saw nothing and no one. Even the obligatory batch of campus squirrels were missing from their usual haunts along the paths near the oak trees. Walking through the building that housed my office was eerily quiet as well, though the thing that surprised me most was walking through the Roman history section of the floor.

"Odd," I muttered as my hand reached out and touched the glass from the display.

"What is it?" Bella asked. Her fingers wrapped around my elbow, and she sounded nervous.

"This display," I said as I tapped the glass. "It's always had a collection of gold Roman coins in it. They were donated years ago, but the gold is gone"

Bella's eyes moved over the scene which now only contained a large papier-mâché log and some plastic branches.

"Where did it go?"

"I supposed it could have been stolen," I said. "But that would be a fairly odd coincidence, don't you think?"

"You mean because the people are gone, too?"

"Not just the people," I corrected. "I haven't seen any mammals at all – no squirrels, dogs, cats – nothing like that. All the people are gone, but there are no empty cars on the road. And now gold is missing?"

My eyebrows knitted together as I stared at the clay bowl that was now completely empty. There was a Roman stola hanging on a mannequin as well as a pair of wooden gladius swords that were undisturbed, not I noticed the steel sword that had been on display was also missing.

Had someone had taken all the metal? Did that include the cars? No, I had seen some cars parked along streets, and my Jeep had been intact. Where would someone store it all, and more importantly – why? What about the people and the animals?

"Gold is a soft metal," Bella said quietly. "It's very easy to shape compared to other metals."

"Um…yes," I replied, "that's true."

"Is your office nearby?" Bella asked.

"Yes, it's just up the hallway."

"I would still like to see your Senet set, Professor Cullen."

My mind spun around, and I could feel myself beginning to panic a bit. I couldn't allow that though – certainly not in front of Bella. I was going to have to remain strong and in control to help her to feel safe irrespective of what we found or did not find.

There were no people around at all – not a single soul

_We could be the last people on the Earth._

"Um…Bella?"

"Yes, Professor Cullen?"

"Ah…since we're…um…well…" I stumbled, inwardly infuriated with myself. I couldn't even get my own name out? Really? "Since it's just us, and you've…well…you've never been a student of mine, why don't you just call me Edward?"

"Edward?"

"Yes," I nodded. "That's…ah…that's my first name."

Edward," she repeated softly.

My throat bobbed at the sound of my name on her lips. In the past, there had been a handful of students – mostly female – who had attempted to refer to me by my first name, and I had always corrected them. The sound had felt strange coming from them, and made me quite uncomfortable.

But it wasn't uncomfortable hearing it from _her_.

Well, this was definitely a change of pace.

* * *

**Chapter End Notes:**

Hey little girl...you wanna come see my Senet set? Heh...heh heh...heh heh heh...

That's just sounds so wrong.**  
**


	9. Chapter 9

**Author's Notes:**

**********Disclaimer:** All the Twilight stuff belongs to Stephenie Meyer. No copyright infringement is intended. I'm just borrowing her cup of sugar.  


Google is a terribly powerful tool. Use it wisely.

**"You have more iron in your blood than the others!"**

* * *

**Chapter 9**

Inside my office was embarrassingly cluttered, but Bella just seemed fascinated by all the things around. For a moment I watched her as she looked over the items on the bookshelf – a set of clay canopic jars, a stone tablet with hieroglyphics on it, and the pottery Senet set.

I noticed something was missing, and walked up to the shelf beside her. My fingers reached out and touched the little round spot where there wasn't quite as much dust as the rest of the shelf.

"There was a bronze statue of a cat here," I told her. "Strange for it to be missing and not the other items – just like in the Roman display out in the hallway."

"Do you think there is a thief in the area?" she asked as she glanced over her shoulder.

"I really don't know," I admitted. "My office was locked, and it doesn't explain the cars or the animals."

Bella nodded.

"Is this your Senet set?" she asked as her fingers slipped over the blue-glazed pieces. "It's beautiful."

"Thank you," I said. "This one is authentic, and I never try to play the game with it. I have another one – a replica – if you would like to try."

"I would," she said with a smile. "You would teach me how?"

"Well, I can teach you how I think it was played," I responded. "How it was actually played is anyone's educated guess."

My own excitement at a favorite pastime made me forget everything else going on for a few minutes as I took the replica game board and pieces from my desk and set them up on my conference table. Bella sat across from me, and I gave her a little history.

"Senet is likely the oldest board game known," I informed her. "There's a lot of debate from the experts about how it is played. The most accepted for involves trying to get the pieces into the most strategic positions on the board, but I don't agree with that approach."

"Why not?" she inquired.

"Because it doesn't make sense as far as game-playing goes," I said emphatically. "Most strategic games involve getting pieces _off_ the board, not _onto_ it. I think Senet was played the same way."

I placed the cones and spool shapes in rows of five on each side of the ten-by-three square grid, and spent the next few minutes explaining my version of the game to Bella. I was surprised by how quickly she picked up on the strategy, and within a half hour we were playing our second game.

"This symbol here-" Bella pointed out as we played, "-the water trap, as you called it – it seems to be the only bad place on the board to land, yet there are multiple good spaces, given your views on the off-boarding of pieces to win."

"Strange, isn't it?" I agreed with a nod.

"But there's as assumption here that the water symbol is a trap," she noted. "What if that assumption is wrong?"

"What do you mean?"

"Water to Egyptians along the Nile was very important, correct?"

"The flooding of the Nile was the only irrigation system for Egyptian farming," I said. "It was most definitely considered important."

"So why would a game consider water as a trap – a space to be avoided? Why not a positive space?"

My head tilted to look at her, and as I started to open my mouth to argue, I realized she may very well be right. It wasn't something I had considered before, and I dared to wonder if anyone else had, either.

"That's very…insightful," I finally responded.

"It would speed up the game as well," she surmised. "You wouldn't be sending all my pieces back fifteen spaces every time I get close to winning, and since the game originated as a betting game, more games would mean more bets. More bets would be more drinking of beer and higher profits for the Senet house owner."

I stared at her until I realized my mouth was hanging open, and I quickly closed it and looked back down at the board. The rules I had in my head began to evaporate as I considered her thoughts on the subject.

With me still in awe, we finished the game with the new potential rules, and she clobbered me.

"Thank you, Edward," Bella said with a smile. "That was most enjoyable."

"I'll take it with us," I said as I collected the pieces and put them back in the drawer on the bottom of the board. I stood up and headed back to my desk.

"Take it where?" she asked.

"Wherever we end up going," I replied with a shrug.

"We aren't going to stay?" she asked. "I thought since we had reached your living space, we would be staying there."

"I'm not sure there is a reason to do so," I replied. "There doesn't seem to be anyone around here. I think we should keep moving – see if we can find anyone else."

Bella's eyes narrowed before she nodded slowly.

"That would make the most sense given the circumstances," she agreed.

I placed the Senet set and a couple of books from the shelf in my book bag, then went back to my desk to see if there was anything else I needed from it. Out of habit, I flipped through my paper desk calendar. It had been almost three weeks since I had been in my office, and I noted various missed appointment with students and faculty. One particular entry stood out.

I had been scheduled to speak at the history museum last week, which I was thrilled to have missed. I remembered how annoyed I had been when another professor had bailed on the engagement and asked me to cover for him. I even had to rearrange a doctor's appointment for this afternoon to accommodate.

_Doctor's appointment._

"Oh shit," I whispered under my breath. I plopped down onto my chair as my stomach dropped.

Bella turned from the shelf and looked over at me.

"Is there something wrong?" she asked. "You look uncomfortable."

I glanced at her and debated if I should tell her the truth or not. I didn't want her to worry about something when there was nothing she could do about it. Then again, I was going o have to find some way of dealing with it, and diet alone wasn't going to be enough.

"I was just…checking my calendar," I told her with a nervous laugh. "Habit, you know. I…um…I had a doctor's appointment scheduled for today."

"A doctor's appointment?" Bella repeated. "Are you feeling ill?"

"No, no." I shook my head. "I feel fine at the moment, it's just…"

I debated what I should tell her. My personal life wasn't something I really discussed with anyone, and this was rather personal. Well, at least to me it was.

"I have a…ah…a blood disorder," I informed her. "It's called hemochromatosis. Normally it's not a large concern, since it's quite treatable, but I need to find a way to treat myself for it."

Bella stepped back slightly.

"Blood…coloring disease?" Her head tilted to the side as her eyes looked over me.

"I believe that's what the Greek roots would make it out to be," I said with a nod. "Did you study Greek?"

"I've studied many languages," she told me. "What color is your blood?"

"Same as anyone's," I replied with a smile. "Mine just absorbs more iron than you are supposed to have. Most people only absorb what they need, but my body absorbs too much, and there's no way to get rid of the excess naturally."

Bella took a slight step back, a look of concern across her face.

"It's genetic – nothing you can catch," I said to keep her from worrying. "Usually I just have my blood drained every four months and it's not a problem. My father had it, and it eventually caused his death due to liver failure because they caught it too late. Once they understood what was wrong with him, I was tested and was found to have the same disorder. I've never shown any of the symptoms of it, since treatment began when I was still in my twenties."

She looked up at me.

"Is this a rare disorder?"

"Fairly rare, yes," I informed her.

"More iron," Bella said softly. Her eyes suddenly went wide. "More iron! You have more iron in your blood than the others!"

"Yes, exactly," I said. I didn't understand why such information excited her so much, but her golden eyes were jumping all around as she took in the information.

"Most people don't have so much." Bella appeared to be talking to herself. She turned around and mumbled something else, but I couldn't hear her.

"What was that?" I asked.

"Nothing," she replied softly. She turned back around and smiled at me. "Is it time to move on to another city now?"

My brows knitted together as I thought about her strange reaction. I had no idea what would have caused her to appear so excited about finding out I had a strange blood disorder, but she seemed to be over it now.

I shook my head once, deciding that young people were just strangely excited to things that made no sense to me at all. It wouldn't be the first time I had been accused of being out of touch with what was popular and interesting to youth.

Well, this was definitely familiar territory.

* * *

**Chapter End Notes:**

A clue! A clue! I think I found a clue!

I should have asked for a Senet set for Christmas. Ah well, there is always next year!


	10. Chapter 10

**Author's Notes:**

**********Disclaimer:** All the Twilight stuff belongs to Stephenie Meyer. No copyright infringement is intended. I'm just borrowing her cup of sugar.  


I am LOVING everyone's theories! Keep 'em coming! :)

For those who asked about the cooking of muffins and such without electricity, I will make two claims - 1) I was really half asleep when I wrote that chapter and 2) Edward must have a gas stove. There! That explains it all! :P

**_Ex_ boyfriend.**

* * *

**Chapter 10**

"Where did you learn Greek?"

With everything useful taken from my office, we took one last check around the building for any signs of life – or various metals – before Bella and I had decided to leave campus and head back to my house.

"I was home schooled," Bella replied quietly. "My parents didn't believe the education system in our area was adequate for my needs."

She glanced at me, and I nodded slightly. The trend had become quite popular, though I wasn't sure how I really felt about it. It was a shame so many people didn't think the public school systems were sufficient – whether they were or not – but I wasn't sure that the kids who came out of home schooling situations were any better off academically when they got to my classes than those from public school districts.

I remembered my own days in school and how I had struggled with friendships as well as academics. I eventually figured out what interested me and did better with grades, but friends and relationships were always a struggle. Being forced into the social situations the public schools required was likely the only reason I could get along with others as well as I could. I didn't like it, and I wasn't _good_ at it, but I could fake it pretty well.

"Did your parents have any issues with your socialization?" I asked as my curiosity got the better of me.

Bella looked over to me and blinked a few times.

"I'm not sure what you mean," she said.

"Well, if you aren't in school with other kids, where did you go to meet people your own age? Where did your friends go to school?"

"Oh!" Bella looked away from me and down the street again. "I understand. Yes, I had friends in my neighborhood. My best friend was Angela, and she lived a block away from my house. I had a boyfriend named Jacob, but we broke up some time ago. We were only sixteen, and he was pressuring me to further the intimacy of our relationship when I was not ready to do so."

It was far more information than I had wanted, and I tried not to think about this _boyfriend_ she had sometime in the past. For some reason, the idea left me feeling unsettled. Even the name – _Jacob_ – left a nasty taste in my mouth.

"Did you go looking for them?" I asked. "After you realized everyone was gone?"

"I went to the houses in the neighborhood, but I never found anyone."

"Did...ah…_Jacob_ live in your neighborhood, too? Or just Angela?"

"It was just Angela," she said. She paused for a moment. "Jacob lived several miles out of town."

"I see." Something was off – I could tell by the way she looked away from me as she talked. Usually she looked right at me whenever we were speaking with one another, but now she was looking away – off to the west. I wondered if that was the direction the boyfriend lived.

_Ex._

_Ex_ boyfriend.

"Did you want to see if we can find him?" I heard myself ask, and immediately regretted it.

"No," she said. "He'll just be gone, too."

She had a point. I found I was conflicted about the details of the point, but I couldn't deny the evidence. Chances are if we did go looking for him, we would find nothing. It wasn't a point I really wanted to acknowledge but it was there all the same.

"Why do you think…" I started to say, but I wasn't sure how to phrase the question. It had gnawed at me constantly since I realized something was horribly wrong with the world, but I hadn't given the thought voice just yet.

"Why what?" Bella asked. Her eyes moved back to mine.

"All the other people," I said, and then paused for a moment again. Bella cocked her head to one side and waited for me. "Um…why do you think you and I…I mean, why are we still here, and everyone else is gone?"

Bella blinked again, glanced away from me for a moment, and then focused back on my eyes.

"I don't know," she said. "I spent a lot of my time in our basement. I thought maybe it was because I was down there."

"I was up in the mountains," I informed her. "A cabin on top of a hill – no basement at all."

"What's your theory?" she asked.

I shook my head.

"I really don't have one," I replied with a shrug. "I thought I would have found more people by now, and that there would be some commonality, but so far…well, it's just us."

I waved my hand back and forth between us, just in case she didn't know who I meant. Then I realized how completely stupid that was, and felt my ears warm with embarrassment.

"I guess that's obvious," I said as I tried to laugh it off. "We just don't seem to have much in common. We hadn't been in the same area or type of area, at least. I just wonder what might be the same about us that we won't realize until we find another person to help us compare."

"Maybe we are the only ones," Bella said quietly. "Maybe we are the only people left on the planet."

Her simple statement struck me harder than anything else since coming down from the mountains. Of course the thought had been in the back of my head off and on since the first day, but I hadn't given it voice. Voice made it much more real, and my mind began to play out the potential scenarios.

The last two people alive on the planet.

One man, one woman.

According to every post-apocalypse movie and television show, there was one main theme that always seemed to come around when there were only two people left in the world.

_Preserve the species._

Well, this was a whole different perspective.

* * *

**Chapter End Notes:**

Ah yes, mon cherie... we shall have to populate the world with social misfits just like ourselves... Not really sure how any of them will manage to ask each other out on a date, and there's that whole interbreeding thing, but we can thing about that later, hmm?

If you haven't seen it, check out my first published short story Otherwise Alone! It's available on Amazon for the Kindle! Link on my profile page!


	11. Chapter 11

**Author's Notes:**

**********Disclaimer:** All the Twilight stuff belongs to Stephenie Meyer. No copyright infringement is intended. I'm just borrowing her cup of sugar.  


********A little more of this stuff, which I managed to write while my house was full of very noisy teenagers. I shall now kick them all out.

**"I said my mother taught me to be a gentleman," I said, "not a Neanderthal."**

* * *

**Chapter 11**

"Are you all right, Edward?"

The touch of her fingers on my arm made me jump a bit.

"I'm…I'm fine," I told her. I shook my head a little to remove all the ridiculous thoughts that were running around in it. The very idea of…of…trying to _rebuild_ the species with just the two of us was completely…insane.

Like a man drowning in his own testosterone, my eyes moved quickly over her body as I swallowed and tried not to think of the light blue scrap of fabric I had glimpsed the day before when she took of her shirt, or the soft flesh I might find underneath it. I tried not to think about how soft her skin might be, or how she might look lying naked of my bed with me on top of her, slowly easing…

"Are you sure?"

_Shit!_

"I'm…ah…yes, yes," I told her. "I'm fine – really. Just…um…lost in thought."

I licked my lips and turned away from her before she could see my cheeks flame up. I closed my eyes and tried to get a little focus.

What in the world could I have been thinking?

"We should…um…head over there," I said with a quick gesture to my right. I started moving quickly, trying to put a little distance between us.

"Where are we going?" Bella asked as she caught back up.

Thrilled for the change in subject, I nodded towards the building off to the west side of campus.

"That's the radio station," I said. "I wanted to check it out – maybe see if we can send some kind of signal."

The station was on the far side of campus, and had mostly been used for students to run their own projects and reach out to each other about community events. As we approached, I knew something about it didn't look right, and as we walked closer I realized what it was.

"The tower is gone."

"Tower?"

"Yeah – the radio tower that would transmit the signal." I pointed off to the empty field next to the building. "It was there before."

Bella followed behind me in silence.

"It would have been made of steel," I remarked to myself. "Just like the gladius in the display case. Why are there cars around? Cars contain steel. But there aren't any stopped on the roads – just parked."

I eyes a mid-sized American made sedan parked near the entrance to the building.

"Some vehicles are made of other materials," Bella said.

"Yes," I agreed, "but all of them have some amount of metal – definitely some steel – if they are going to run. My Jeep worked until it ran out of gas."

I turned towards her.

"Why would that be?" I asked. "Why am I here, and my Jeep still here, when the radio tower is gone, along with gold coins and a bronze cat?"

Bella hesitated for a moment, her eyes taking on a worried look.

"I don't have adequate information to deduce an answer to that question."

"What?" I took a slight step back as I tried to figure out her sentence. I realized she must have misunderstood. "No, no – I'm not expecting you to have an answer. The question was rhetorical."

"Rhetorical?" she repeated. Her eyes blinked a few times as she looked at me. "Why ask a question when there is no expected answer?"

"I was just…thinking," I said. "You know – thinking out loud."

Bella just stared at me.

"Never mind," I told her. "I was just wondering. Nothing makes sense."

"It is…confusing," Bella agreed.

Without any real reason to check out the tower-less radio station, we began to head back across campus to my house. I glanced sideways at Bella couple of times as we walked, trying to figure out what was digging at the back of my head and making me think something wasn't quite right about her.

I decided it could only be one thing.

The cooking.

I rubbed my hand on the back of my head and glanced up at the sky. It was well past midday, and I was starting to get hungry. More than anything, I wanted to figure out a way to tell Bella I would take care of the cooking from now on, but I just didn't know how to say it.

"I think I'll fire up the grill again," I said as we neared the house. "You can relax for a while, and I'll take care of dinner."

Bella's head cocked to one side as she looked intently at me.

"Shouldn't I do that for you?" she asked.

I laughed.

"I said my mother taught me to be a gentleman," I said, "not a Neanderthal."

It actually took a little convincing, and just as I was about to give up and eat another batch of baked potatoes with thyme and cinnamon, Bella gave up and let me do the cooking. She seemed more confused about it than anything, and I hoped I hadn't actually hurt her feelings.

I did enjoy dinner, at least.

After making sure the coals were out on the grill, I looked up at the sky and glared at the setting sun. I checked my watch, which said it was just past eight in the evening.

I heard the sliding door to the house open, and Bella walked out across the deck to where I was standing. Like she had once before, she slipped her hand into mine, and I had to fight with my conflicting desires.

I shouldn't be letting her do this, that was completely certain. It was wrong. Immoral, even.

It _was_, at least, but what about now? If we really were the last two people on the earth – or in the state of West Virginia or even on the continent – did those rules still apply? Or was all of that cultural age bias completely out the window? Or, even more likely, was I just attracted to a much younger woman and wanted to find a way to justify it?

Her fingers entwined with mine softly…_innocently_.

They were warm and inviting.

I couldn't help but think about how long it had been since I had been intimate with someone, and how enticingly beautiful Bella was. Her long, dark hair and the shape of her body – so obvious to me in her sleeping attire from the night before, even though I had tried to ignore it – she was completely captivating. Young, sweet, and warm.

It would be so easy to take her to bed and hold her close to me – make her feel safe and protected. I _wanted_ her to feel safe and protected. As I held her, I could just run my hand over her face, bring her close to me, touch my lips to hers…

Well, this was a whole other way to look at things.

* * *

**Chapter End Notes:**

Ahhh...the rationalizations begin!


	12. Chapter 12

**Author's Notes:**

**************Disclaimer:** All the Twilight stuff belongs to Stephenie Meyer. No copyright infringement is intended. I'm just borrowing her cup of sugar.  


High-ho all! Hope you are enjoying your weekend! It's time for a little more Prof C!**  
**

**God, I was disturbed.**

* * *

**Chapter 12**

I was going to end up in whatever special hell they reserved for men who considered taking advantage of girls. I was sure of it.

Then again, maybe I was already there. Maybe I had done just such a thing, and I was now being punished for that deed with the end of the world. Not just the end of the world, but the company of a young woman who depended on me, and who tempted me at every turn.

As soon as I began to move towards the couch, she was already begging me to sleep with her again. That was just how she said it, too – _sleep with me again, Edward_. With that sound in my ears and my eyes full of another set of flimsy lingerie, my dick was all too willing to react.

I felt like I was seventeen again.

All I needed to complete the picture was a thick textbook to carry around with me so I had something to cover up my…_excitement_. Then it would be just like high school had been when I had to walk past the cheerleaders while they practiced in front of the school.

I rolled my eyes at myself and stepped into the shower. The lack of electricity to heat the water made quick work of my predicament. Though it was good to get some of the grime off, I couldn't stand there in the frigid water for long, and shut off the valve as soon as I had all the soap rinsed off.

With a couple candles on the counter, I shaved in front of the bathroom mirror. The activity was one I detested, and avoided as much as possible. Thankfully, in my field, being clean shaven wasn't a requirement, and I got away with a few days growth most of the time. This was only the second time I had bothered to shave since coming down from the mountains, and my scruff had pretty much turned into a full beard. It was starting to annoy me more than the act of shaving did.

Once I removed all the scruff, I washed off with more cold water and headed into the bedroom. Bella was already there, propped up on the pillow, and reading one of my books on gladiators. Her eyes moved swiftly over the copy on the page, and her head tilted slightly to one side as she seemed to take it all in.

She learned so quickly.

I realized one of the things that had increased my attraction to her to the point of no longer being able to deny it, was how quickly she not only caught on to Senet, but her evaluation of the game play and subsequent strategy. I was impressed, and for me that equaled attraction.

Bella was everything Kate had not been.

Kate was near my own age and was also a professor, though she taught at a school in Michigan. I was uncertain about the long-distance relationship, but we gave it a shot anyway. I had assumed a professor had a certain level of intellect, but I had been incorrect. It was clear from our first in-person meeting that Kate wasn't the most learned person.

It didn't seem to be a matter of ability, but more a matter of preference. Learning bored her. She taught because she couldn't make it as a professional musician, and the university had an opening. She played a variety of instruments beautifully, but we noticed quickly how little we had to talk about as soon as our jobs were discussed to death.

Bella wanted to read everything I had on my bookshelves. She immersed herself quickly, read quickly, and then wanted to talk about what she had read. She was a dream student, and my dreams had turned into Dirty Professor Cullen fantasies.

"Are you coming to bed?"

_I'd like to come in that bed. I'd like to come between those…_

"Edward?"

"Oh…um...what?" I stammered. "Oh! Yes, yes…"

Cautiously, I climbed into the bed beside her. Bella was staring at me with wide eyes as I settled beside her, and I wondered if I had done something wrong.

Maybe she could hear my thoughts.

"Your beard is gone," she said.

"Um…yes." I reached up and rubbed my chin. "I was getting kind of tired of it."

She continued to stare at me quizzically.

"I shaved it off," I added.

"You look very different." Bella's fingers were suddenly on my jaw, running lightly over the smooth skin. "It's so soft."

I chuckled nervously and another part of my body decided it needed to balance out the _soft_ of my face. I was thankful for the blankets, but was worried they wouldn't be enough, so I grabbed the pillow and placed it over my lap, and Bella's hand fell down to her side.

"How's the book?" I asked. Anything to change the subject away from me.

"The dichotomy between the gladiators' fame in the arena and their status as slaves is fascinating," she said, which sparked a good two hour discussion on everything from the living conditions inside a ludus to what the gladiators would buy with the coins they earned.

By the time we were done, the single candle in the room had burned down low.

"We should probably sleep," I said as I lay down on the pillows.

Bella lay down beside me, and her eyes looked into mine as we lay on our sides facing each other. Before I knew what was happening, her hand was on my cheek again.

"I am amazed by how different you look," she said quietly.

"Did your father never grow a beard?" I asked.

"My father had a mustache," she responded. "He never shaved it off."

"Ah." I didn't really know what else to say to that, so I said nothing.

Bella's fingers moved slowly over the skin of my cheek and across my jaw. She stared at her own fingers as they moved around my chin and traced the edge of my lower lip.

I knew I should stop her from touching me like that. It was far too intimate. However, I found myself really enjoying how it felt to have her hand on my face, and I hesitated long enough for doubt to make me hesitate more. That doubt turned into something a little different – something akin to wanting to take her hand and run it over different parts of me. Then I considered what a horrible, horrible person I was for even having such thoughts over this poor girl who probably looked at me as a guardian.

A guardian who wanted her, and was going to have difficulty hiding that fact if he wasn't careful.

I swallowed, and my tongue darted over my lips as I tried to come up with something to say. Stop it? Please continue? Let's talk about gladiators some more? Your cooking sucks, but let's see how you are in the sack?

God, I was disturbed. I had to stop thinking that way.

As I warred inside my brain on what to do or say, Bella leaned quickly forward and touched her lips to mine. The touch was unexpected, warm, wet, divine. Her hand gripped the edge of my jaw and pulled me forward slightly to add to the pressure.

I wanted to push her away.

I wanted to pull her against me and fucking the living hell out of her.

Well, this was quite the dilemma.

* * *

**Chapter End Notes:**

****Oh, he's a bad, bad boy...he's going to the special hell...

Did you check out Otherwise Alone? If so, please go leave a review on Amazon and tell me what you think!


	13. Chapter 13

**Author's Notes:**

******************Disclaimer:** All the Twilight stuff belongs to Stephenie Meyer. No copyright infringement is intended. I'm just borrowing her cup of sugar.  


A couple people seemed to notice the Firefly reference in the last chapter. Geeks! LOL Yeah, takes one to know one. :)**************  
**

And now for more Professor Awkward.

**"You don't want me?"**

* * *

**Chapter 13**

As my confliction continued, my inability to think also persisted. Bella's mouth pressed firmly to mine, and my response was completely automatic. My lips moved with hers, my hand moved to the back of her head, and I moaned into her mouth.

She smelled so good, and when my mouth opened and her tongue touched mine, it was perfect. Soft and gentle, but eager and wanting as well. Turning my head, I kissed her from another angle. Then I felt her hand slide begin to down my chest.

_Holy shit…what the fuck am I doing?_

"Mmm…mmm…." My hand went to her shoulder and I pushed back just enough to break the connection. "Bella…Bella, stop."

Her head tilted to the side and her lashes framed her golden eyes as she blinked at me.

"Why?" she asked.

"Because…because…" I was sure there were simply hundreds of reasons, but I couldn't manage to speak a single one.

Bella's eyes moved from my face down my body, and her hand continued its journey downwards. Her fingers flittered over the fabric of my T-shirt – down my chest and across my abs. A moment later, she was palming my cock with her hand.

Other than letting out a small gasp, I couldn't move or speak.

"You have an erection," she said simply. Her fingers caressed the length of my cock through my lounge pants. "You desire intercourse with me."

"Yes," I replied breathlessly, and then realized what I had just said. "I mean, no! No! I wouldn't…I wouldn't do that…"

Her head tilted the opposite direction, and I tried to ignore how the movement exposed the skin of her neck. More importantly, I tried to ignore the implications of the action.

As part of my continuing education, I had checked out a social psychology lass a year ago. I remembered a lecture on dominant and submissive behavior and how the tilting of the neck – exposure of the jugular – demonstrated submissiveness. There were all kinds of interesting things about it, including things you could try out yourself. If you were speaking to someone and wanted to influence their opinion, you should always keep your head up straight. If you want to show someone you are listening to them, you tilt you head, expose your jugular, and the person was more likely to feel accepted.

Men also tended to find the move to be arousing.

I was definitely aroused, though I wasn't sure if it had anything to do with the position of her head. It was more likely the position of her hand.

_Shit!_

"We can't do that!" I said as I pushed her hand away from my hardened cock.

"Why not?" Bella asked. She sat up in the bed, crossed her legs, and looked down at me.

"That would just be…wrong." I sat up as well. I moved myself a few inches away from her.

"You are not married," Bella stated.

"No, I'm not."

"Is there a girlfriend or fiancée?"

"No," I said, "I'm not in a relationship with anyone."

"We have already determined you are not a homosexual," she said.

My hands tensed against my thighs, and my jaw tightened.

"I most certainly am not."

"Are you infected with a sexually transmitted disease?"

"No!" I moved back a little more as my annoyance turned to horror. "Absolutely not!"

"Is there an illness or physical deformity that prevents you from performing?"

"For God's sakes!" I cried. I had to put an end to this particular game of Twenty Questions. "Bella, there is nothing wrong with me! I just…I wouldn't want to…to take advantage of you."

"I am well over the age of consent," she said. "I will be nineteen years old in September."

"_Well_ over?" I repeated, and then let out a single, gasping laugh. "Bella, I'm more than twice your age."

She paused and her brow furrowed. I used the time to collect myself, shift the pillow back over my lap and try to refocus and anything except the taste of her lips in my memory and the way the strap of her silky pajama top had fallen down her shoulder in my vision.

"I don't understand," she finally said as she looked back to me. "What is the relevance?"

"That just wouldn't be right," I stated firmly. "I am a teacher of people your age, and an authority figure. I could…well, I could be your father."

"You could not," she stated. "I have a biological father already."

"That isn't what I meant," I sighed. "I mean I am old enough to be your father."

"But you are not," she repeated.

"No, I'm not."

"I am not, nor have I ever been, your student."

"I realize that." My hand went up and ran through my hair. I had no idea what the hell I was supposed to do now.

So it's all right," she deduced. Bella shifted up on her knees and moved towards me.

I quickly moved back and off the bed. With my hands up, I backed myself up to the wall as Bella watched me, obviously still confused.

"I don't understand the conflict," Bella said.

"Bella," I said, then paused to try and figure out what else I could say to keep her from advancing on me again. "I don't want to do this."

She sat back on her heels and blinked a few times. Her tongue darted out over her lips and her eyes moved back to mine.

"You don't want me?" she said quietly.

I wasn't completely sure if it was a question or not.

"No, Bella," I replied with a sigh. "I'm not that kind of guy."

She sat in silence for a moment, and then her head dropped down as the rest of her body sagged a little. Her hand moved up and touched the spot below her eye. When she pulled her arm back, there were tears glistening on her fingers.

"Why not?" she asked. Tilting her head back up, she looked at me as tears began to roll down her cheeks. "I don't understand! I thought I was pretty!"

Well, this wasn't going very smoothly.

* * *

**Chapter End Notes:**

Hey professor! There's a totally different special hell for making girls cry!


	14. Chapter 14

**Author's Notes:**

**********************Disclaimer:** All the Twilight stuff belongs to Stephenie Meyer. No copyright infringement is intended. I'm just borrowing her cup of sugar.  


Hi again! It's been a few days, but let's see how the Professor and Maryann are doing, hmm?**  
**

Oh wait...wrong show.**  
**

**Shit – did I say that out loud?**

* * *

**Chapter 14**

I felt more lost than I had when I realized all the people were gone.

Bella covered her face and sobbed, and I just stood there trying to understand what I could possibly do to fix this. I couldn't even respond to her comment about being pretty – if I said she wasn't, I wasn't only a asshole, but also a liar. If I said she was, then I was a letch.

I finally responded with the basics learned for the tried and true art of watching chick flicks.

"Please don't cry!"

Lame.

Try again.

"Bella…Bella, I'm sorry!"

"Why don't you want me?" she asked through choked sobs. She wrapped her arms around herself and rocked back and forth on the mattress. "Why does it feel like this? Why don't you like me?"

"I do, Bella, Jesus!" I ran my hand through my hair, reached out for her, decided that was a bad idea, and started to pace around the room. "You said so yourself!"

She sniffed and looked up at me.

"You have an erection," she said again.

"_Had_," I mumbled under my breath. I really wished she'd stop talking about it. It wouldn't matter if she was eighteen or eighty – I didn't want anyone just casually talking about my penis in such a…_clinical_ way.

"You do want to have sex with me."

"I can't do that," I said quietly. I wanted to comfort her somehow, but nothing seemed like a wise move on my part. Most comforting seemed to involve being in close physical approximation, and I didn't want to get any closer to the bed. The idea kind of terrified me, because I was pretty such if I was close enough to touch her, I'd be naked and inside of her within a couple of minutes.

I had to stop thinking this way. I just had to. I already felt like I was hanging out on the edge of a skyscraping in high winds.

"It's just immoral."

"Why?"

"Because a man my age shouldn't be looking at a young girl that way."

"I'm not a girl," she insisted. "I am an adult woman. I have a driver's license. I look like the girls in fashion magazines. You are supposed to desire me."

My tongue darted over my lips as I tried desperately not to rationalize the situation, but there were too many conflicting opinions in my head.

In both heads.

I did desire her. I desired her in a nearly irrational way.

"You…you don't know what you're saying."

She blinked again.

"I thought I did," she eventually said.

"Well, you don't," I responded with a sigh.

She pulled her legs underneath herself and sat cross legged on the bed. Her face was a mask of confusion and frustration, and I had no idea what to make of it.

"You really don't want me," she said quietly.

"I didn't mean to hurt your feelings," I said. "I just…I'm just a little too old for you."

"How old would I have to be?" Bella asked.

"What?"

"How old are you?"

"Thirty-eight," I told her.

"What is the maximum number of years difference can there be between a man and a woman?"

"Huh?"

"You said you were too old for me," Bella clarified. "We are twenty years in difference. Would nineteen years be acceptable?"

"No!" I responded immediately.

"Fifteen?"

"Bella, it isn't just a matter of numbers…"

"You said you were too old for me," she said. "How is that not a matter of numbers?"

"It's not that simple." I had no idea how to answer her question – none at all. How many years was too much, and what the hell did it matter now that we couldn't even locate another person?

No, I couldn't think like that.

I couldn't.

"Please explain."

"Explain?" I shook my head. "I don't know what you mean."

"Edward, do you want me?"

Subtle just wasn't her middle name.

"I can't…I can't do that, Bella-"

"Do you want me?" she asked again.

I closed my eyes, trying to force the thoughts from my head by forcing her from my sight, but it didn't work. Her scent was still all around me, and even behind my closed lids I could still see the little strap of pink that had fallen off her shoulder. I could still feel the warmth of her body up against me in the night, and I could still taste her on my mouth.

With my eyes open again, I looked at the young woman on the bed with her eyes trained to me. I had no idea what to say to her. I didn't even know how to have a normal conversation with a normal woman my own age, and this conversation was definitely not normal.

Not at all.

Still, her question was echoing around in my mind. As much as I had been trying, I knew I couldn't really deny it. I was a straight man with working eyes, so I couldn't help but be attracted to a young, beautiful woman like her.

And there she was, looking straight into my eyes and asking me if I wanted to have sex with her.

"Of course I want you."

Shit – did I say that out loud?

"Then why won't you have sex with me?"

I took in a stuttering breath and tried to will my all-too-non-age-discriminating cock to stand down. I should have run from the room and avoided all of it – stayed on the couch from the very first night – but it was too late now.

I didn't like seeing her cry.

"Fuck," I muttered.

"Now?" Bella raised herself up on her knees in the center of the bed and reached out to me.

I froze. I knew I should be screaming no at her – telling her to stop, but she must have taken my lack of response as positive, because the next thing I knew, she grabbed the hem of her pajama top and pulled it over her head.

Well, those were pretty damn nice tits.

* * *

**Chapter End Notes:**

From crying to stripping - I'd say he's making progress!**  
**


	15. Chapter 15

**Author's Notes:**

**********Disclaimer:** All the Twilight stuff belongs to Stephenie Meyer. No copyright infringement is intended. I'm just borrowing her cup of sugar.  


Hey everyone! Sorry this update took a while. I thought I'd get a bunch of writing done while on vacation, but I was mostly a couch slug. Trying to get back in the swing of things. :)

Loving everyone's theories! Keep it up! :)

**"What do you mean, you're leaving?"**

* * *

**Chapter 15**

"Jesus, Bella!" It seemed to be the only phrase I could get out of my mouth. I couldn't even manage to take my eyes of her luscious, perky round breasts. I couldn't get past the fact that I had thought of them as _perky_.

That pretty much made me a perv, didn't it?

With a thump, I realized I had backed myself into the dresser. I shook my head slowly, and watch Bella's face fall when she realized I wasn't joining her on the bed.

"I'm sorry," I said.

"What should I do?" she asked. The confusion on her face was downright painful.

"I don't want you to do anything," I told her.

"You don't want me," she said.

I shook my head.

"I can't do that," I told her.

Bella nodded twice. She gathered up the little silky camisole in her hands and held it against her chest as she climbed out of the bed. With her back turned towards me, she pulled the garment over her head and walked out the bedroom door.

My hands covered my face and I rocked slightly back and forth, causing the dresser to bump up against the wall. I had screwed this up so bad, and I didn't know what I was supposed to do to fix it. I couldn't handle a normal relationship, let alone this…this… _whatever_ it was.

I would have given in. If she had pushed just a little more, I wouldn't have been able to help myself.

_Bullshit._

That was about the lamest thing any man ever pretended to believe. I would have said I couldn't help myself, but the truth would have been that I had stopped trying to resist. She obviously wanted to have sex for whatever strange, teenaged-lust influenced reason. That had to be it – hormones all out of balance with changing bodies and whatnot. She wanted to have sex with me, and I was going to eventually rationalize all my concerns away.

Hell, she could have been the class slut, for all I knew. She might have already had more partners than I. Of course, she said she had ended a relationship earlier because she wasn't ready, didn't she? Come to think of it, she was home schooled, which meant she would have to have been the class masturbator.

While images of that physical education class cavorted around my frontal lobe, I heard the front door open and close.

"Bella?" I called out, but there was no response. I walked in to the living room, calling her name the whole way, but she wasn't there. I was about to call again when I saw a figure moving out across the lawn.

Running quickly to the door, I ripped it open and called out to her again. She was walking across the grass and away from the house, but either didn't hear me or refused to answer. I rushed through the moonlight in my bare feet until I caught up with her and grabbed her arm.

"Bella, what are you doing?"

"Leaving," she said with a shrug.

"What do you mean, you're leaving?"

"You don't want me," she replied. "Why would I stay?"

"You can't just leave," I told her.

"Why not?" She took a step back, and I released her arm.

"I mean…you could," I stumbled, "but don't. It's not safe for you to be on your own."

"I was on my own for some time before I found you," she stated. "I will be fine."

She turned and started to walk away again.

"Bella!" I called out. Again, I grabbed for her arm. "It's late, it's dark, and you are in your pajamas. You aren't even wearing any shoes, and you don't have any supplies. You can't just walk out like this, and it would be totally irresponsible for me to let you do so."

"Irresponsible?"

"Of course," I said. "You're…well, you're my responsibility."

"I am?"

"Aren't you?" We looked at each other for a moment, but she seemed to be waiting on me. "I know it's really kind of strange and confusing right now, with everyone all…disappeared…"

I let out a long, sharp breath.

"Understatement of the apocalypse," I muttered before continuing. "I just meant that since I'm older, I and responsible for making sure you are safe and cared for given the circumstances. I couldn't just let you walk out on your own, even if you did already take care of yourself for a while. It wouldn't be right, and I would feel terrible."

"I don't want you to feel terrible," Bella said. She shook her head and looked off towards the driveway.

"I would, definitely." I leaned slightly to get her to look me in the face again. "Please don't walk away. It wouldn't be as safe for you on your own as it is here with me."

Bella's eyes turned back to mine, but she still seemed lost.

"Pease come back inside," I said.

Bella looked down at the grass and seemed to contemplate. After a moment, she nodded and let me lead her back inside and to the couch.

"You're going to take care of me?" she asked again quietly.

"I said I would," I told her.

"But you don't want to have sex with me."

I closed my eyes and tried to come up with some way of answering that question that both got her to stop asking and also kept her from walking down the street in the dark.

"You're a beautiful young woman," I finally said.

Bella sat up and turned towards me, her large honey eyes staring intently.

"Any man would want to…to be intimate with you. But you're also young enough that it makes me feel very uncomfortable."

She looked around my face for a moment, and then glanced back down. She seemed to be deep in thought for some time before she spoke again.

"You mean my physical youth is the issue, and not the actual difference between our ages?"

"Yes," I said, "that would be a good way to put it."

"If I was older, you would want to explore a sexual relationship, even if you were also somewhat older than you are now?"

"Possibly," I admitted.

Bella nodded slowly.

"I understand," she said. "We should wait until my birthday in September."

I chuckled at her joke as I leaned back against the couch.

"Edward?" she said after a few minutes.

"Yes?"

"Are we still allowed to touch?"

"Touch?" I repeated.

"I…I like touching you," she said. "It makes me feel…safe."

"Oh…um…I suppose so?" It ended up sounding like a question, but she must have taken it as a statement because she moved closer to me on the couch.

"Is this okay?" she asked as she pressed her body against mine and wrapped her arm around my waist. She leaned against me, and I instinctively placed my arm around her shoulders.

"Um…yeah," I stuttered. "That's okay."

Bella snuggled against me with her palm on my chest and her eyes closed. After a few moment, her breathing deepened in sleep.

Well, this was at least safe territory.

* * *

**Chapter End Notes:**

Well, we're at least setting a few boundaries, Professor. Can I touch you here? Can I touch you there? Can I touch you in a box? Can I touch you with a fox?

No, no...no bestiality. We'll leave that to the werewolf stories. ;)


	16. Chapter 16

**Author's Notes:**

**********Disclaimer:** All the Twilight stuff belongs to Stephenie Meyer. No copyright infringement is intended. I'm just borrowing her cup of sugar.  


Hey there! The Arsenal game was too depressing, so I stopped watching at the second half and did a bit of writing instead. Enjoy!

******Where was a benevolent vampire when you needed one?**

* * *

**Chapter 16**

I didn't know what the hell I was doing, but I didn't want to admit that to Bella. She was definitely looking at me as a protector now, and I was afraid she was going to figure out how incompetent I really was. At least she had pretty much stopped coming on to me.

Well, when she was awake, anyway.

For the past three weeks, we had lived in my little house off the northwest side of WV State. There was no sign of any other people at all, though we continued to search every structure we accessed. We foraged in various stores, campus buildings, and the homes of missing people to look for anything and everything that might assist us on a long trip.

As much as it felt safe and comfortable to stay in the place that had been my home for many years, winter would eventually come. There were no other people here to help us, and there was no reason outside of sentimentality for staying. Even though my house had a little fireplace, storing wood for the winter to heat the house would have proven difficult. Without electricity for heat, a bad winter could mean the end of us.

So we were going south.

"The highway is our best option to find other people," I said as we gathered together everything we planned on taking with us. We had gone over the plan several times, just to make sure we both knew what was going on. "It offers us the smoothest terrain, even though we'll be heading through the mountains."

"And making our way to Charleston, South Carolina."

"Exactly," I said. "Large, coastal city with the best opportunity to find other people. We should be able to make it there within a month, even if we take it easy."

"That's an average of less than ten miles a day."

"We can travel faster than that," I said, "but this gives us an easily attainable goal. We can stop and rest for a day or two if we want to or if the weather gets bad, and then catch back up. We'll be on the coast by the middle of August."

"Attainable goals," Bella said with a nod. She smiled up at me, and I returned the look.

Bella knelt down by the large wagon I had picked up at the Tractor Supply Store. It was meant to be just a slightly larger version of a child's toy, but it was perfect for helping us carry what we needed without relying on fossil fuels for anything. We had placed everything we could fit in it without making it too heavy to pull, and then strapped it down for security.

"There may be room for a couple other things in the wagon," she said.

"What haven't we packed up?"

"There was one more set of fire-starters we could take with us," Bella said. "But we should be able to find those at stores off the highways. I was actually thinking of something else."

"What's that?"

"The Senet set."

I raised an eyebrow at her.

"Entertainment is necessary for health and wellbeing," she said quietly.

The corner of my mouth turned up.

"By all means," I said, "pack the Senet set."

As she returned to the house, I looked off down the side street that would eventually lead us back to the highway and wondered if any of this was a good idea or not. There wasn't any real reason to stay – that much was clear – but would leaving make any difference? Or were we destined to die _someplace_, and it might as well be in the comfort of my home?

I shook my head to clear it, and decided to start looking for those large sighs with "H" printed on them to signify hospitals. There could be people in them, and at some point I was going to have to figure out how to drain my own blood. I was already past the time I would have had it done by a few weeks, and though I knew I wouldn't have any actual complications for some time, once the damage started it was permanent.

Where was a benevolent vampire when you needed one?

Sighing heavily, I checked over the straps around the wagon and maneuvered the whole thing back and forth a bit. It still pushed and pulled easily with the long handle in front. I didn't know if it was the best option or not, but without any working vehicles we were out of other options. At least we were doing _something_.

Did I mention I had no idea what I was doing?

Bella came back outside holding the replica Senet set in her hand. It had been wrapped neatly with plastic, and did fit well into the space let in the back of the wagon. I pulled out plastic sheets to cover everything for protection from the elements, stepped back, and admired our work.

"We'll leave tomorrow?" Bella asked.

"I think we're ready," I said. I turned towards her. "Are you ready to leave?"

"I've grown accustomed to these surroundings," she said.

I laughed.

"Yeah," I said, "I'll miss this place, too."

I shook my head and started back inside as her words echoed around in my head. The sentiment wasn't the least bit odd, but the way she put it…

Well, Bella did have the vocabulary of one of the guys in the English department who was always going on about how he taught _abroad_. No one actually knew what country it had been, just that it had been _abroad_.

I glanced back over my shoulder to see her trailing behind me and thought about the way she spoke. It was definitely a little out of the ordinary, especially for someone her age. I tried to remember how the students in my class spoke, but I admittedly spent more time talking than listening during classes.

Honestly, it didn't bother me in the least, but now that I had noticed it I sent the rest of the night listening to her sentence structure and wondering how I hadn't noticed before. I must have had something to do with being home schooled. She hadn't picked up on the vernacular used by so many other teams.

"Tell me about your schooling," I said as we lay down beside each other in the bed and Bella moved over close to me.

"I was home schooled," she said.

"I know that," I chuckled. "I'm just wondering what it was like."

"What it was like?" she repeated. "I don't understand the question."

"I mean, did you enjoy it?"

"I enjoy learning," she confirmed.

"I can tell that," I laughed. "I think you have read all of my books."

"There are seven left," she informed me. "There isn't room for them on the wagon. I considered the value of the books I have not yet read and the Senet set, but decided on the game."

"Why?" I asked.

"Because the books, once read and committed to memory, have no further value. The Senet set can be used over and over again, with millions of potential plays. Books will also be readily available in homes and libraries in each city, where a Senet set would be more difficult to find."

"I guess you rationalized that one," I remarked. "What do you mean, committed to memory?"

Her eyes looked up to mine for a moment before she looked away.

"I mean read…understood," she said.

"Not memorized?"

"Of course not," she replied.

I leaned back on the pillows and tried not to let the feeling that she was acting a little strange get to me. After all, who was I to say anyone's behavior was peculiar? There was a reason I didn't have a social life.

"What are your impressions of me?" Bella asked suddenly.

"My impressions? I'm not sure what you mean."

"I would like to know your opinion of me," Bella said. "Where are my strengths and weaknesses?"

Cocking my head to the side so I could see her face, I tried to comprehend what she was asking. Strengths and weaknesses? Like she was some sort of essay?

"You want an…an _evaluation_?" I asked.

"Yes," she beamed. "Exactly."

Well, this could go most anywhere.

* * *

**Chapter End Notes:**

Let me pull out this score card...


	17. Chapter 17

**Author's Notes:**

**********Disclaimer:** All the Twilight stuff belongs to Stephenie Meyer. No copyright infringement is intended. I'm just borrowing her cup of sugar.  


Just a little tidbit before bedtime. :)

For those who were confused about Edward's comment about needed to be bled, re-read chapter 9.

**Christ, I was useless.**

* * *

**Chapter 17**

"I'm not sure what to say," I admitted.

"I would like your honest opinion," Bella said.

Honest opinion. Well, that was the essence of evaluations, wasn't it? I had evaluated many student papers, tests, and projects, and had been praised for my evaluations skills. This couldn't really be all that different.

"You are a very intelligent young woman," I said.

Bella bent her elbow and cradled her head on her hand as she lay beside me and looked up from the bed. At that angle, I could neatly see her breasts through the top of her lingerie, which was highly distracting. The low, flickering light from the candles cast intriguing and captivating shadows around her soft curves.

"Perky," I muttered.

"What is _perky_?" Bella ask.

"What?"

"You said perky," Bella said again. "I wasn't sure what you meant."

Oh fuck, did I say that out loud?

"I…uh…I mean…"

Fuck, fuck, fuck.

"I just…um…I mean you have a very perky personality."

Bella's head tilted to one side, further exposing her creamy skinned neck.

"Is that good?" she asked.

"Very," I said, and I felt my ears start to burn. I really had to stop thinking that way, but I couldn't seem to help it. Keeping myself from acting on such impulses was one thing, not thinking about how soft and round her breasts had looked when I had just a brief glimpse of them was an entirely different set of scruples I didn't seem to possess.

She moved slightly to shift her weight on the mattress, which made her brush up against me a little more. It also made her perky breasts bounce around a bit.

What a letch.

"Is that all?" she asked.

"Ah…no," I said. I really needed to focus on the topic at hand and get my mind out of the gutter that was her pajama top. "You're very logical in your thinking, which makes you a good Senet player."

Bella continued to look at me expectantly.

"Um…your…um…your eyes are…very…brown…"

Christ, I was useless.

"Brown?" she said, and her eyebrows crunched together. "Yes, they are brown."

"I just meant…ah…they're a nice shade…you know…of brown."

Her brown eyes blinked twice.

"Do you consider them a pleasing shade of the color?"

"Um…yeah," I said with a bit of a chuckle in a lame attempt to break some of the tension. "Yes…they are."

"Do you find them attractive?"

"Uh…sure."

"Do you find _me_ attractive?"

My tongue was too thick in my mouth to respond, and my lack of response in whatever the allotted time was supposed to be made Bella's face fall.

"You don't," she surmised. "You don't think I'm pretty."

"You are a beautiful girl," I said quickly. If she cried again I would lose my mind. "But that's not what makes you attractive."

"It's not?"

"No." I shook my head slightly, and wondered what the hell I was doing. Whatever it was seemed to be on autopilot.

"What does then?" she finally asked.

"The first thing I said," I told her. "You are a very intelligent girl."

For the longest time, she just looked at me as her eyes focused on mine, then seemed to wander for a moment before focusing again. Her fingers tightened around the edge of the blanket, and I had the feeling I had either said something wrong or maybe just embarrassing. Whatever it was, she didn't seem very pleased, so I tried switching the subject around a bit before she decided I had insulted her.

"Isn't it your turn now?" I asked with a smile.

"My turn?"

"Shouldn't you give me an evaluation?" I asked. "My students always do at the end of the semester."

Bella blinked a few times before looking back to me.

"You are very masculine," she said.

I swallowed hard.

No one had ever said that to me. Accusing me and my social awkwardness of quite the opposite was far more likely. Kate had informed me that I was good-looking, whatever the hell that really meant, but never masculine.

"I am?" I heard myself say.

"Yes," she replied. A moment later, her hand was on my cheek. "You look especially masculine when you haven't shaved."

My heart began to perform fairly complicated _Double Dutch_ routines in my chest as Bella's fingers moved over t he edge of my jaw and the stubble there.

"At the end of the third day," she said, "is when I like it the most. It's the most masculine then."

I started to clear my throat, but her hand dropped from my jaw to my chest and I couldn't actually breathe any longer.

"You have very toned muscles," she said. "That is another masculine trait. And broad shoulders."

There was an undoubtedly masculine trait just underneath the sheets that was thriving on every word that came out of her mouth, and I had exactly zero control over the reaction to them. Even if she hadn't taken the tip of her finger and run it over the edge of my arm, my dick would have been trying to leap out and poke her in the eye.

Well, maybe not the eye.

Her eyes moved from the path of her hand back to my face.

"I haven't really known very many men." Bella's voice cracked slightly as her eyes darted away from me. "I'm not sure if you are more intelligent than others or not, but I find playing Senet against you challenging."

"I must not be too bad," I said with a crooked smile.

"You aren't bad," she said with a shake of her head. "Not at all."

"Why haven't you been around other men?" I asked.

"I was home schooled."

"Yes, you've said that before," I reminded her. "Buy surely you went out with your family and saw other people."

"Not…often," she said. She pulled her hand back away from me, and I wasn't sure if I was happy about that or not, but ultimately, I breathed a little easier.

I didn't know what to think of Bella's expression as she backed away slightly. Confusion, anger, sadness – I just wasn't sure. She definitely seemed distressed, but I didn't know why. There was most certainly something I should have said or done to make whatever was wrong better, but I didn't even know where to begin. I was half terrified she was going to start crying, which was something I was completely incapable of handing.

Thankfully, she didn't, but she didn't offer to clarify anything either.

"Bella? What's wrong?"

"I'm fine," she said, and when her eyes met mine again, she was smiling.

I looked at her for a moment, trying to figure out just what the heck was going on. The conversation seemed to have gotten away from me, and I didn't know what we were talking about any more.

"Maybe it's time to get some sleep," I said.

Bella agreed, and I lay back on the pillows just before she pushed herself against me and rested her hand in the center of my chest. She let out a soft sigh as she drifted off, and I tried to get my raging hard-on to behave.

It wasn't long after I finally dozed off that I woke to a flash from the window and the crackling sound of static electricity through the clouds. Bella jumped slightly as the thunder roared over the house, but she didn't wake. The storm continued long into the night, and when I snuck out from under Bella's arm, I could see the dark, thick clouds in the air and had the feeling this one was here for the long haul.

Well, this was going to make travel messy.

* * *

**Chapter End Notes:**

The dude plans travel like my son. Oh...what...we should go somewhere? Okay...let's throw some shit in the trunk. There's a blizzard? What? Where?


	18. Chapter 18

**Author's Notes:**

**************Disclaimer:** All the Twilight stuff belongs to Stephenie Meyer. No copyright infringement is intended. I'm just borrowing her cup of sugar.  


Happy weekend everyone! A lot of people asked why they were planning on walking instead of using bicycles. Bicycles are made of metal. I had seen all wood wagons, though. Keep calm and suspend that disbelief!

:)

**I was definitely going to get us killed.**

* * *

**Chapter 18**

Drips of water collected, merged, and then traveled down the glass of the window as I stared into the dark, wet night. The rain hadn't stopped for almost three days, and my backyard was flooded. Half the things in the wagon, though I thought I had secured enough plastic and tied it down well enough to make it watertight, were ruined.

My chest felt like someone had repeatedly punched it, and that creepy-crawly feeling that something must be seriously wrong was cavorting around on my skin. I felt nauseated, and my mind was running at a thousand miles an hour.

What if we had already been on the road when a storm like this had passed? What if we were in a valley, sleeping in a tent, and there was a flood? What if we ended up on a stretch of road with no shelter, and a hailstorm started up? What would we do if one of us fell and got hurt?

I had no idea what I was doing. The coast sounded good, because it would be warm and I liked the beach, but now I had visions of yearly hurricanes in my head, and there was no way I would know what to do if that happened. There would be no weather forecast on television to give any advanced warning.

All of the sudden gathering wood for the winter didn't seem that bad.

I walked back towards the bedroom and looked at the girl curled up in my bed. She was such a sound sleeper that the rain and thunder didn't seem to bother her at all. I had spent the last couple of nights watching her sleep as the rain fell on the roof, and I had developed a definite sense of…_protectiveness_ about her. There was also the growing knowledge of my inadequacies in the face of survival situations, and mounting terror that my lack of know-how was going to get us both killed.

Back in the living room, I sat on the couch and watched my fingers tremble against my thighs.

There was no one around to help.

No one.

Where were they? Where did they go? Were they all dead, and if they were, where were the bodies? Where were the other cars? The radio antenna, the bronze and gold from my office building? Everything that seemed to be made of steel, except for the few cars parked around town, was gone. Why was that?

No clue.

I wasn't cut out for this shit.

I certainly had a level of organization about me, and I was extremely book-smart, but only about those areas of study I had found interesting in the past. I didn't know much of anything about engineering or similar sciences, never went the Boy Scout route, and couldn't even keep houseplants alive. If we were in Egypt, I could probably manage to farm the Nile floodplains, but only with the help of Osiris.

I wasn't great with the whole outdoors thing.

Yes, I had a cabin in the mountains – a cabin with central air and a satellite dish. My idea of "roughing it" had always been a hotel without a Jacuzzi. I didn't even own an axe for chopping wood, and I wasn't totally sure I knew how to use one without cutting off a leg or something.

All the "wood" I had for my fireplace was those little pressed logs that were more for ambiance than heat. I preferred them because I could hardly manage to get a real wood fire going, and when I did I always ended up with singed fingertips.

That brought me to the other panic point – what if one of us was seriously hurt? There was the university clinic just a couple of blocks down, but it wasn't like I knew how to do anything other than apply pressure to a bleeding wound.

That was the right thing to do, right? Apply direct pressure? What about for snake bites?

Fuck me.

I was definitely going to get us killed.

"Edward?"

I startled and looked up to see Bella in the hallway.

"Are you all right?" I asked her. I tried to hide my panicked state, but I wasn't sure how successful I was.

"I'm fine," she said. "Why are you awake so early?"I glanced at the clock on the wall, which showed a few minutes before five in the morning.

"Just…thinking."

Bella took a few steps closer to me.

"You look different," she said.

"Different?"

She moved in front of me and looked down. Her head tilted to one side as she gazed at me.

"Your expression," she said, "is different than I have seen before. What are you thinking about?"

"My _expression_ is different?" I looked up at her through narrowed eyes. I supposed she meant because I was either lost in thought or nearing a panic attack, but who says something like that?

I shook my head, stood up, and walked back to the window. There wasn't anything out there that hadn't been out there before, but I stared at it anyway. A few moments later, Bella came and stood beside me.

"I'm just rethinking our plan," I finally said. "The weather has made me wonder how wise it may be."

"I thought you wished to go to the south to avoid inclement weather during the winter months?"

I glanced at her sideways. Something about her was really setting me on edge, and I wasn't sure what or why. She had to be half asleep or something, because what she was saying was just…odd. To be totally honest, I was also finding it more and more difficult to rebuke her advances.

Maybe my own sleep deprivation was getting to me.

"But storms like this occur all over the place," I said. "And near the coasts, there could be hurricanes. Heat waves can be as dangerous as a cold front. Travel can be dangerous, too. I just…I don't know what to do."

"I'm sure you will make the right decision," she said.

I turned to her and opened my mouth to give voice to some of my fears, but thought better of it. The last thing I needed to do was scare her as much as I had scared myself.

"Do you think staying here would be safer?" she asked.

"Maybe," I replied. "You've studied a lot of subjects, most of them a lot more recently than I have – do you think we'd be better off here?"

She took a half step back as her honey eyes widened.

"I…I don't know," she said. "That is not the sort of subject I have studied. People live in most every climate on the Earth, even in the arctic. The species is very adaptable. I will trust in your decision."

I chuckled humorlessly.

"What if I don't know what to do?" I asked.

Her hand reached up and touched my face, which she had been doing more and more lately. It had been two days since I shaved, which wasn't quite as long as she claimed to like it, but that didn't stop her from touching me as often as possible, and I couldn't bring myself to stop her most of the time.

_Masculine_.

My tongue darted over my lips, and I took a step backwards to break the connection. There was too much in my head at the moment, and she was far, far too distracting.

"Do you think we should stay here?" she inquired again.

"Maybe," I said. "We would have plenty of time to stockpile food and whatever for the winter. It's not like there's much competition for resources out there."

Bella nodded.

"There are some plants with a short growing season," she said. "We may be able to plant a few things in your yard."

"I guess we could use the neighbor's yard, too, couldn't we?"

We sat back on the couch and ignored the rain as we discussed all the things we would need to do if we were going to stay in my house. As we worked through it, my body and mind began to relax. Perhaps we could make all of this work right here, even if it was just the two of us. If there were others out there, they were just as likely to run into us here as we were to run into them on the road. We could even put signs up or something to direct others to where we were.

I knew this place. It was familiar. Safe.

Well, this at least felt like a better plan.

* * *

**Chapter End Notes:**

****This is the part where I would say something witty if I happened to have thought of something witty to say, which I haven't.


	19. Chapter 19

**Author's Notes:**

******************Disclaimer:** All the Twilight stuff belongs to Stephenie Meyer. No copyright infringement is intended. I'm just borrowing her cup of sugar.  


Hey everyone! Happy weekend! I'm about to head off for dinner, but here's a bit more of these two! :)

**How do you mourn someone who may or may not be gone?**

* * *

**Chapter 19**

Like all non-biblical storms, the rain finally stopped after a couple more days. By then the ground was kind of like a bog, and I was glad we hadn't actually planted a garden or anything, because it would have been washed out.

First trip after the weather cleared was to the grocery store with a crowbar.

Hey – you have to get in somehow.

The emptied wooden wagon served as a cart as we walked up and down the aisles to find what we needed. Canned and other dry goods, lots of first aid supplies, and extra can openers were the first things on the list. The store itself was really starting to smell bad with the freezers and coolers having been shut down for some time. We did salvage a lot of fruit, at least, which had me thinking about scurvy. The vitamin aisle was visited as well.

The next stop was the Tractor Supply store, where Bella picked out a variety of vegetable seeds to try to grow. I also found some tools – an axe, a saw, and boxes of those pressed wood logs to at least help with getting fires started.

The last stop was the library.

Bella went after books on small-scale agriculture while I looked through a variety of survivalist and medical books. Both topics had a lot of literature, and both led us to further trips to other stores for lots of different supplies.

It felt odd to be preparing for winter when we hadn't quite hit July yet, but in the back of my head I knew it needed to be done. I expected Bella to grow quite tired of the tedious activities quickly, but she didn't. If anything, she seemed to revel in them, and I wondered why she wasn't complaining about the lack of cell phones and video games.

In fact, she hadn't even talked about missing her parents or any of her friends.

As I was considering asking her about it, I realized I also hadn't talked about any of my colleagues or students, either, so I started with asking myself why that was. The answer was simple – I wasn't all that close to any of them, preferred time alone, and was ultimately so confused by the situation in general that I didn't know what to think.

How do you mourn someone who may or may not be gone?

I guessed it wasn't so strange that she hadn't mentioned people. Though maybe if my parents were alive, I would have wanted to go to where they were supposed to be. Bella had said almost nothing about them except that they were at a conference in Ohio.

I shook my head a little to clear it, and then went back to the book in my lap about keeping warm in the winter without electricity. I added nuts to the list of things we should acquire – apparently the high fat content helped to keep you warm – along with a pile of blankets for both the bed and for the windows. I also wrote down area rugs, layers of clothing, and additional candles.

The library trip incited us to go back to the tractor supply store for additional supplies, and even as the sun started to get low in the sky, I was finding it hard to leave. I finally had to pull myself away from a huge group of tools whose purpose was lost on me so we could make it back to the house before the sun set.

It was close, but we made it back before it was too dark to get around outside.

"I'm sorry," I said to Bella. "I didn't realize how late it was. I just felt like I was missing something we should have."

Bella stopped stacking blankets in my linen closet, looked up at me, and smiled.

"It was kind of strange," I admitted. "I don't think I've ever spent more than five minutes in that store before today."

I lit several candles as my mind continued to contemplate the strange thoughts in my head. With a long sigh, I dropped down on the couch.

"There's no meat," I suddenly realized.

Bella looked at me quizzically before sitting down beside me.

"No animals," I said. "I haven't seen anything at all. All the meat at the grocery has already gone bad, and there's no way to get any more."

"Humans create their own taurine," Bella said.

"Huh?"

"Taurine," Bella repeated. "Carnivores cannot produce taurine in their systems, and require the muscle tissue of other animals to provide it. Humans are not carnivores, make their own taurine, so they do not require meat to survive."

"Oh yeah?" I looked at her out of the corner of my eye, and wondered for the hundredth time just what kind of curricula her home schooling program used. "I guess I have known plenty of vegetarians."

"We'll have to acquire other sources of protein," Bella said. "Legumes – especially soybeans – are most beneficial."

"We'll do that, then," I agree with a nod. "Should we try growing them?"

"That would be a difficult task," Bella said. We may have better luck seeking out a farm or seed company that already has a supply. They would last for a long time."

I nodded.

"It does feel like we're just back to the basics here, doesn't it?"

"The basics?" Bella questioned.

"Yes," I replied. "Not worrying about television or how many times I made it to the gym this week, but basic food, water and shelter stuff."

"Survival," Bella agreed with a nod. "Those things that were once key to our lives no longer hold the same importance as they once did."

"Exactly," I agreed. "So, speaking of the basics, why don't I get some dinner made while you see if there's room for the books we brought back on the bookshelf?"

Bella nodded and started to unload the cart. I watched her remove the library books and tried not to feel bad about taking them. It wasn't like there was anyone else around who was going to need them, and there wasn't a librarian who could have checked them out to us. Still, I felt like I was doing something wrong when we brought them back with us.

I felt worse than I did smashing the window to the grocery store to get food.

Resulting to what was – in every sense of the word – _looting_ put me on edge, but the survival basics, as Bella put it, seemed in a different category than library books. There was something almost sacred about the library, and I couldn't have felt more uneasy than if I had taken the crucifix from a chapel.

I remembered my mother holding my hand as we walked through the aisles – first to find a book for her, and then to find a book for me. If I behaved myself, I was allowed to take home two.

The corner of my mouth twitching into a half smile at the memory, and I turned away from the library stamped books Bella was adding to the bookshelf.

Well, this was probably something I was just going to have to accept.

* * *

**Chapter End Notes:**

****I don't think I could take a book from the library if it hadn't been properly checked out first...


	20. Chapter 20

**Author's Notes:**

******************Disclaimer:** All the Twilight stuff belongs to Stephenie Meyer. No copyright infringement is intended. I'm just borrowing her cup of sugar.

Hmmm…half of you readers seem to be library book stealers, and the rest of you are as paranoid as Edward…

**"You think I might harm you."**

* * *

**Chapter 20**

It's strange how activities one would never have considered before can become commonplace and completely acceptable under unusual circumstances.

Our days were spent looting.

We went from store to store, house to house, building to building. We took anything and everything deemed useful, then brought it back to my house and tried to find room for it. Anything already in the house deemed less useful or not useful at all, was hauled to the neighbor's garage. It would be easily accessible in inclement weather, but wouldn't take up room in the main area of living.

It probably would have been faster to just move into a mall or a super Wal-Mart, but the security and comfort of my own home called to me, and Bella seemed to agree.

Our focus was food and water – dry goods, especially, but anything pre-packaged, canned, and dried…anything that was still good. Most of the food that was perishable had already spoiled. After that it was light and heat sources – candles, matches, lighters, firewood (the guy a couple blocks down had apparently bought a whole cord of it, which we moved to my backyard), and batteries. Then we would focus on various other household goods like soap, towels, and clothing.

Bella also found more things she needed at the Tractor Supply shop after going through a gardening book. We picked out what we needed to make a decent sized patch of ground in my backyard into a good place for four, raised, square-foot gardening beds. It wasn't easy – the tools available were extremely limited. I found a wooden rake and a mallet, and a small set of what appeared to be aluminum hand tools. Like the saw I found, they were flimsy, but better than nothing.

No steel to speak of, gold gone, bronze – but aluminum seemed to be around. Just like before everyone vanished, there were Coke cans lying around in the ditches near the roads. I scratched at the back of my head as I looked over the rest of the shelves of tools.

Lots of wooden handles were lying around with nothing on the ends of them.

My jeep's engine certain had steel in it, though. I wished I had found a way to drive it all the way back here. With a deep breath, I tried to push it all to the back of my mind long enough to get our garden going.

Bella was excited all the way to the back yard. We built up the boxes, poured soil inside, and then Bella planted peppers, lettuce, carrots, and spinach.

"I should probably avoid the spinach," I mused.

"Because of the hemochromatosis?" Bella asked.

"Yes," I said. "It's not something that's going to affect me any time soon – probably not for years – but it's not a bad idea to be cautious, since I don't have any medical help now."

"You need to have your blood drained," Bella remembered. "Every few months, you would have your blood drained in order to reduce the amount of stored iron."

"Right."

"Is it the same procedure as donating blood?"

"It is," I said.

"Perhaps we can research the process at the library and find a way of doing it ourselves."

I narrowed my eyes at her.

"I don't think I would be able to do that myself…"

"I could do it," Bella offered.

I laughed, shook my head, and glanced up at the sky. It was looking like we were going to get another summer storm, and I found myself missing the goofy weather guy on Channel 12. He had annoyed me on early mornings with his chipper attitude, but I would have given him most anything for a weather forecast now.

"Why is that funny?" she asked.

I stifled myself immediately, realizing I had probably offended her. I started picking everything up and putting it in the wheelbarrow before rolling it back towards the house.

Bella followed.

"You're just…just a kid, Bella. You aren't a nurse."

"I was not an agriculturalist," she said, "but you didn't hesitate to allow me to plant seeds."

"That is totally different."

"In what way?"

"In the way that planting seeds didn't involve sticking sharp needles into my veins!"

Bella stopped and stared at me a moment as I placed everything into the shed near the edge of the house. I wiped my hands off on my jeans and turned back to her scowling face.

"You're afraid I wouldn't do the procedure correctly," she said. "You think I might harm you."

"Well…yes!" I started to chuckle again, but stopped myself.

"I wouldn't attempt it until I was sure."

"Ah…no…" I said. "No thanks."

Inside the house, she continued her pursuit as I lit candles and heard the rumble of thunder outside. The pop up shower was drenching the house a moment later.

"Edward, if you fall ill…" She hesitated for a long moment, and the look in her eyes intensified. It was similar to the one I saw when I first found her in the boathouse, when she was holding a gun at me. "What would happen to me?"

"Nothing is going to happen…" My voice trailed off, taking the falsehood with it. She and I both knew there were many, many things that may harm either one of us at any time, even in the warmth of the summer months. Our only real chance was together.

"Please," she whispered. Her eyes seemed to flicker their odd, honey-brown color with the light from the candles. "Please let me learn…I have to be able to care for you."

"Bella, I-"

"Please," she repeated. She moved up next to me and placed her hands on my chest. "I don't want anything to happen to you."

Her body pressed up against mine a little more, and I felt my mouth go dry.

"Bella…stop." I took a step back, and her hands fell back to her sides. I didn't miss the look of defeat, or the heavy sigh as I turned and quickly walked out of the room.

I locked myself in the bathroom for a while, and for the first time in a very long time, I found myself missing my mother. I was fairly certain now would have been a good time to call her and ask her what the fuck I was supposed to do.

_Go with it._

God, no.

_She wants it._

She's too young to know what she wants.

I looked up to the mirror and searched my shoulders for an angel and a devil, but there was nothing but me staring back from the glass.

When it was time for bed, I still felt tense.

The extremely long shower with all the…um…_extras_…wasn't enough.

Bella was already in the bed when I entered the room, reading by candle light as the remnants of the storm passed by the window. As soon as she heard me, she quickly stashed the magazine she was holding off to the side of the bed.

On other nights, I might have asked her about it, but I still felt uncomfortable. Instead, I lay down beside her in silence and pulled the sheet up to my chest. I stared into the near distance and wished for quick sleep.

"I didn't mean to upset you," Bella said softly. Her fingers graced over the top of my hand softly, lingered for a moment, and were then pulled away.

The touch made me shiver a little.

"I'm not upset," I said. It was a partial truth. I wasn't really upset anymore, at least. "I'm just a little nervous about the whole needles thing – always have been. I could barely stand the trained professionals doing that."

"I would learn," she said quietly. "I would learn to do it the right way. I would even practice on myself…I just…I need you to be healthy."

"I'm fine, Bella," I assured her. "My father didn't even have any symptoms until he was nearly fifty. I've been going through treatments for over fifteen years. It's going to be a long time before anything noticeable happens."

"But by then it would be too late," Bella said. "That's why your father died."

"Yes…yes it is."

"I…I…" She stopped and looked away for a moment. When she spoke again, I could barely hear her. "I don't want you to die."

Well, this was growing complicated.

* * *

**Chapter End Notes:**

So...what magazine do you think Bella was reading?

A few seem to be confused about the metal "stuff" - so I tried to make it a little more clear with another trip to the flim-flam store. Not *all* metals are gone - so far, Edward has noticed steel, iron, bronze, and gold as missing.

Ultimately - I also write all this pretty quick, and I have to admit I'm far from perfect. I try to keep it all consistent, but since this doesn't get written from an outline, I may screw up, too. :)


	21. Chapter 21

**Author's Notes:**

******************Disclaimer:** All the Twilight stuff belongs to Stephenie Meyer. No copyright infringement is intended. I'm just borrowing her cup of sugar.

I know - it's been forever. Hopefully the next chapter will be sooner. I think things are going to start to heat up soon... ;)

**_Perky._**

* * *

**Chapter 21 **

Like a typical, professional man of the early twenty-first century, I spent time in an air conditioned gym to build up muscle and generally stay fit. Doing actual, physical work wasn't something I was accustomed to doing. It wasn't just sweaty, but dirty and far more tiring than working out on nautilus equipment ever was.

I loved it.

Between a DIY guide found at the library and a trip to the lumber yard, I was building a root cellar at the back of the house. It had taken forever to dig a pit that was deep enough, but even during the warmth of July I could tell how much cooler it was underground. It was definitely cooler than the basement of my house. According to Bella's book on root cellaring, it was going to work pretty well.

After days of digging, I lay down gravel and drainage pipes at the bottom, and hauled bag after bag of concrete mix from the store with the wagon. It took forever, my back was killing me every day after I was done for the evening, and I found it absolutely exhilarating.

Following the instructions, I poured the cement sides, waited for them to cure, used tar to seal it all, and even made some decent cement steps to the entrance. It took most of the summer, but I was thrilled to death when it was all done. I had never really made anything like that before, and I had to admit I was kind of proud of myself.

To top it all off, Bella brought me drinks to cool me off every day. With temperatures in the nineties most of the time, she had taken to wearing cut-off shorts and light-weight tank tops. Sometimes she'd accidentally hold the cold glass of lemonade or iced tea against her shirt before she handed it to me.

No bra.

Not that I noticed…it's just…she would lean over sometimes to hand me a drink when I was down in the hole…and they were just…_there_. I couldn't see them completely – a little peek of curve just below the neckline. If I moved my head just a little to the left I could see a bit more…

…not that I would do that.

She would smile, blink, and quickly look away whenever our eyes would meet. Sometimes she even blushed a little, and the blush would always extend down her neck and into her shirt. When she walked away from me, I found myself compelled to watch her move – especially when she walked up the steps, and her hips would sway slightly from side to side.

My mind was in turmoil – she seemed to have completely stopped all the advances, and I should have been quite grateful for this. I _was_ grateful, but at the same time, I found myself looking at her more and more often. The way she moved, the quick glances, the slight touches as she handed me a glass of cool lemonade, and the shy smiles were driving me insane.

The stopped wearing the little silky pajamas to bed.

She started wearing my T-shirts instead.

To be completely honest, she was driving me absolutely insane. She hadn't made a move on me at all – not since that night she offered to learn to drain my blood – and nearly every day since then, my desire for her had grown.

It was mid-September, and Bella had picked most of the peppers still on the pepper plants. There were a few still on the branches that needed to ripen, but most of them were looking good. I was just glad I was going to have a nice, cool place to put them when they were ripe.

Everything was actually coming along quite nicely. We had collected enough supplies that we both felt pretty comfortable about the upcoming winter. Bella had managed to raise a decent amount of vegetables during the short growing season, and had collected seeds from various stores and supplies for starting the plants in late winter of next year.

We still hadn't seen another soul, and other than a nasty cut I got on my hand which bled for a little while, I hadn't come up with any brilliant ways to deal with my blood condition. Mostly I just didn't think about it, but Bella brought it up every week like clockwork.

She'd done her research. She was sure she could take my blood without hurting me, but I was far too squeamish to try it. I just kept finding excuses instead, but I thought she was probably on to me. She had yet to use the phrase _chicken shit_, but I could kind of see it in her eyes.

I heard the back door slide open and looked up to see Bella heading outside. I stood, brushed dirt from my jeans, and headed her way.

"You know what I was thinking?" I said as I walked up the deck's steps. Bella met me with a glass of ice water and a bright, brilliant smile.

"What's that?" she asked.

"I think the root cellar's top is about the same size as two of the garden containers. We could probably grow more food on top of it next spring."

"I think you're right," Bella said. She handed me the drink, and her cold, wet fingers touched mine as the glass transferred from one hand to the other. She looked away quickly.

I followed her into the house, glad to be out of the sun for a while. I sat down at the kitchen table and leaned over the glass of water. I wrapped my hands around it, and then held the cool glass to my face. It was still really hot outside, which was great for the growing season but not so good when it came to cooling off.

Bell walked up behind me, and then leaned over near my shoulder. Her arm reached out across the table, and she grabbed at the small spiral notebook lying there. I turned towards her slightly, only to find her breasts pretty much right there in my face.

_Perky._

I heard myself gasp a little.

"Sorry," she said quietly as she moved backwards. "I was just writing some things down, and I was considering a few options we may have for tomorrow."

"Options?" I asked, confused. "What's tomorrow?"

"My birthday," she replied. "Traditionally, there would be a cake, but I haven't come up with any real way of baking one. I did find several cake mixes at the store, though. Do you like chocolate?"

"Um…yeah," I stuttered. "I like chocolate. What's the date tomorrow, anyway?"

Bella looked at me quizzically.

"September nineteenth," she answered. "I thought I could try baking a very flat cake in the solar oven, but the recipe on the box calls for eggs. Some of my research indicates the use of arrowroot or potato starch can work as a leavening agent instead of eggs. If I figure it out for my cake, I will know what to do when your birthday arrives."

"Mine was a couple months ago," I said.

Bella went still.

"Your…you…you already had your birthday?"

"Um…yeah," I said. "It was in June."

"You didn't say anything," Bella said.

"Well, no," I replied. "I didn't really think about it. I haven't paid much attention to the calendar, and I didn't really think it mattered."

"Birthdays are to be celebrated," Bella said. She took a half step backwards. "I didn't know…we…we didn't celebrate."

"It's all right," I assured her. I gave her a smile to let her know I really didn't give a shit. I didn't even like cake.

She stared at me with round eyes for a moment before nodding slightly and backing away. At the last moment, she turned and left the kitchen entirely. I heard the front door open and close a moment later.

"Bella?" I moved quickly through the living room and to the front door. When I opened it I saw her out in the front yard with her arms wrapped around her shoulders. When I came up behind her, I realized she was crying.

Well, this could be going better.

* * *

**Chapter End Notes:**

What do you mean you don't like cake? Who the fuck doesn't like BIRTHDAY CAKE?!

I'm gonna sit back now and wait for a dozen messages from people who hate cake. Probably people who hate chocolate ,too. And puppy haters - I know you're out there. Just fess up already!


	22. Chapter 22

**Author's Notes:**

******************Disclaimer:** All the Twilight stuff belongs to Stephenie Meyer. No copyright infringement is intended. I'm just borrowing her cup of sugar.

Ok – I screwed up with the ice water thing…sorry about that. At least I thought about the lack of eggs! Let's just pretend they found a cooler with ice still in the bottom of it, mkay?

**"It's in your genetics. Hunt, provide…Procreate."**

* * *

**Chapter 22**

"Bella? What's wrong?"

She started to walk away, but I took hold of her arm and stopped her.

"Bella, please tell me why you are so upset."

My finger gripped her arm as the late afternoon coated her tanned skin. One of the straps from her top was starting to fall from her shoulder, and I resisted the urge to fix it for her.

I wanted to fix it…fix whatever was wrong between us. I just didn't understand what it was.

"I don't understand you at all!" Bella finally burst out. "You didn't tell me about your birthday, you won't let me help you drain your blood, and you always want to cook instead of letting me do it. You don't behave the way a male is supposed to behave at all!"

I dropped my hand from her, stunned. It wasn't the words themselves, but the _familiarity_ of the phrases that stopped me in my tracks.

Okay, maybe not the blood bit.

However, Kate had said similar things to me when we had been dating. I didn't ever do things the way she expected me to do them, whether it was where I liked to go when we went out to what kinds of movies I'd rather watch. Frankly, Kate's comments had made me nervous and probably contributed to the behavior which led to our ultimate breakup.

Bella hadn't said anything like that before, though, and I didn't know what to think of it. If anything she had said more the opposite – commenting on my masculinity, which led me to trying things like building a root cellar – something I would never have considered before. I wasn't sure what I had done to change Bella's opinion of me, or even what she meant about how I was supposed to behave.

"I keep trying," she said. "I keep trying to figure out what you want, but you don't follow any of the norms. How am I supposed to know what the appropriate reactions are when you don't exhibit normal behaviors?"

I went through what all had transpired over the past few minutes, but couldn't come up with anything I had done to upset her so much.

"I…I don't understand," I admitted. "What did I do?"

"Birthdays are supposed to be celebrated!" she yelled. "You had a birthday, and you didn't even tell me! I thought I knew what to do tomorrow, and now I have no idea!"

I took a step back, and my mind raced as I tried to figure out what I was supposed to do. Was this just some kind of teenaged tantrum, or was there something wrong with me?

Of course there was something wrong with me – there always had been.

"I'm…I'm sorry, Bella," I replied as I took another step away from her. "I didn't mean to upset you."

I turned around and went back into the house. If I stayed with her, the chances were pretty good that I would say or do the wrong thing again, and just make everything worse.

Maybe even under these circumstances I was still better off alone. Maybe Bella would be better off without me just as Kate had been. I thought sticking together was a good idea, but given what kind of person I was, maybe Bella would be better off on her own or looking for other people.

_Other people. _

Were there any?

If she left, would she find anyone to help her?

Would I?

I shook my head as I walked into the bedroom and sat down on the edge of the bed. I kicked off my shoes and pulled my shirt up and over my head. I balled it up and tossed it neatly into the laundry basket in the corner of the room, stared at my hands a moment, and then dropped down onto my back to stare at the ceiling. It wasn't very interesting, so I closed my eyes.

Emptying in mind of the tumultuous thoughts, I focused on the heat in the room and the beginnings of a breeze coming through the windows. It cooled my heated skin, and felt nice. As I lay there, the wind got louder, and I figured another storm was going to be on its way. I didn't remember there being so many storms last year, but then again, I probably just hadn't paid much attention.

"Edward?"

I turned towards the bedroom door and saw Bella there, still red-eyed. Something about her standing there in the fading light with her hair messed up and her eyes puffy made her incredibly beautiful. It made me want to pull her close to me, stroke her hair, and tell her I was going to take care of everything.

"Would it be better if I left?" she asked.

"Maybe," I replied without thinking. For her, it probably would be. Maybe she could find another guy out there – one who isn't so different and confusing.

Bella nodded solemnly before she turned and started to walk away.

"Bella!" I called out, and she looked at me over her shoulder. Her golden eyes flickered at me, and I thought about watching her walk away from the house with the intent of never returning. "I…I don't want you to leave."

"You don't?"

"No." I sat up and sighed heavily. "But this isn't working the way it is, is it?"

She shook her head.

"Are we…incompatible?" Bella asked.

Our eyes locked for a moment.

"I don't know," I said. "I…I just don't know. Maybe you're right. Maybe I'm not compatible with anyone."

"Maybe it's me," Bella suggested. "I've tried to…to behave in expected ways, but-"

"Behave in expected ways?" I repeated. "Bella, I don't even know what that means."

She looked away nervously.

"Maybe it's both of us," I said.

"What do we do now?" she asked.

"I don't know how to fix it," I admitted. "I should know – I'm older and supposedly wiser, but I don't know what to do."

Bella moved slowly around the edge of the room until she came to the foot of the bed. She sat down on the corner, still a few feet away from me. We didn't say anything – I didn't think we knew what we were supposed to say. On a basic level, we knew we needed each other to survive, and survival had to come first, but what if we just…didn't really get along?

Was that it? Did we just…not like each other?

Or did I like her too much?

The storm picked up outside and started blowing around the house. It was getting late anyway, and as the clouds darkened the sky and rain fell, Bella and I continued to just sit and wonder what we were supposed to do next.

When I glanced at her, Bella was sitting impossibly still. In fact, she didn't seem to be moving at all – barely even to breathe. Her eyes no longer shed tears, but the look on her face still showed her worry, fear, and uncertainty.

"I want you," I heard myself whisper.

Bella's eyes widened as she turned to me.

"You do?"

"Yes."

"But you don't act on it."

"No," I replied. "Definitely not."

"Why not."

"It's…it's wrong."

Bella stayed still for a minute as she pondered.

"Do you remember when we first met, and I told you I had broken into a grocery store for food?" she asked.

"Yes." I furrowed my brow as I looked at her. "Why?"

"You told me that given the circumstances, it was all right to use such methods to obtain what I needed to live."

"True." I was beginning to get an idea of where this was going, and I didn't know if I liked it or not.

"How is it different?" she asked. "Circumstances have changed. The rules of society no longer apply. Survival is the key now."

"Survival," I muttered. The topic had been one we had discussed many times. "We need to stick with the basics. Shelter, water, food…"

"Survival is more instinct than anything else," Bella said quietly. "It's in your genetics. Hunt, provide…"

I had to swallow when she glanced down to my mouth.

"Procreate."

She turned towards me and gathered her knees under herself. She shuffled a little closer to me on the bed, and reached out her hand to grip the back of my head and pull me closer as that word – _procreate_ – fluttered around in my mind like an ADD butterfly on acid, telling me what a fantastic idea it would be to jump start the human race by impregnating Bella.

"Bella…" I pulled back just as lightning brightened the room, and then left us in darkness as the thunder rolled.

"Why do you resist?" she whispered into the dark.

My mouth opened to tell her how wrong and immoral it was, but my lips and tongue took over – spitting out the truth instead of what I should have said.

"I don't know," I admitted. "It's…it's supposed to be wrong. Much worse than stealing groceries."

"Does it feel wrong now?" she asked.

For a moment, I just felt. I felt the wind from the window, the heat of her breath on the skin on my throat, the soft touch of her hand on my bare chest, and the feeling of her fingers in my hair.

"No," I whispered.

"Trust your instincts." Her hand pressed against my chest as she moved against me. The other hand pulled again at my head, but I wouldn't budge.

I had to stop looking as her perfectly formed lips and sweet, golden eyes.

Closing my eyes didn't help in the slightest – I could still smell her and feel her hand on my chest. Her fingertips moved downwards slowly, and I couldn't focus a thought long enough to stop her.

_Procreate._

When she pulled with her hand on my neck, I let her, and her warm breath covered my face just before her lips brushed over mine.

"You're…so young…"

"I know what I want," she whispered into my mouth as her lips covered mine.

Well, this was…really nice.

* * *

**Chapter End Notes:**

And his resistance...FAILS!

Muhahaha!


	23. Chapter 23

**Author's Notes:**

******************Disclaimer:** All the Twilight stuff belongs to Stephenie Meyer. No copyright infringement is intended. I'm just borrowing her cup of sugar.

I shall not recant tales of having way too much on my plate, nor go into just how many hours there are in a day. I'll just say that this story will start being updated regularly again. :)

In case it has been a while for you...

**Recap of the first 22 chapters:**

Professor Edward came out of the mountains after a weekend trip in his cabin to find the human race had disappeared. No damage, but just gone. He finds Bella, a just-graduated-from-high-school teen as alone as he is.

As they begin their journey back to Edward's home near WV State, both Bella and Edward exhibit some odd behaviors – she doesn't know not to take her shirt off in public, and he doesn't have the good sense to fuck her when she does.

After discovering much of the metal seems to be as gone as the mammals around town, they play a little Senet and talk about Edward's blood disease (hemochromatosis), but Edward won't let Bella drain him.

They do a little looting around town to prepare for a trip south, but ultimately decide that's a bad idea. Traveling is dangerous, and rain gets your shit wet. They decide to stay and prepare for winter by growing peppers and building a root cellar.

At this point, Edward's made Bella cry _again_, this time because he doesn't like cake. In return, she's cozied up to him on the bed and given him another flash of tit.

He's fighting the losing battle.

And now, let's continue!

**I was going to fuck a teenager.**

* * *

**Chapter 23**

Her lips moved against mine, and the scent and taste of her filled my head with pleasant thoughts. It almost seemed like I was dreaming because my head was full of such strange and improbable ideas. Pictures of Bella lying in a green meadow with purple flowers all around her and daisies in her hair filled the insides of my eyelids, and the possibilities she suggested as she lay on the grass intrigued me far more than I ever thought they would.

_Procreate._

Actually, truly procreate. Not just have sex, or make love, or even fuck, but to truly act with the intent of creating life. I hadn't considered such a thing before, and given my age I had rather decided children were not in my future. They had been banished from my mind entirely.

But not any longer.

She wanted this. She wanted _me_. Why would I push her away?

Bella raised herself up on her knees and angled her head down to further deepen the kiss. , and my hands moved on their own as my mind tried to rationalize what was going on. They slid around her hips and up to her lower back, pulling her gently until our bodies were pressed together. Her hands traveled over my chest and shoulders, and then down my arms.

The kisses were gentle, but urgent. Moving slowly, my mouth opened and I felt her tongue touch mine. I moaned into her mouth at the sensation, and felt her hands on the sides of my face, holding me to her. My arms tightened their grip, bringing her flush against my body. I shuddered, and my mind tried to inundate me with logical thought.

I shouldn't allow this.

I had to do something to stop this before it was too late, but I didn't want to. It felt so good…so right…so…so…instinctual.

No, I couldn't let myself be ruled by such thoughts. I was a man, not a savage…

"Bella…"

"Please," she pleaded softly. "Please don't push me away again…please!"

"I won't," I heard myself answer. My words were now controlled by my body, apparently...well, and my mind. In fact, every part of me was starting to give in.

It just felt so good.

My hands moved up her sides, and the fabric from her tank top shifted up a little with the motion. Bella broke from me for a brief moment as her hand grasped at the hem and pulled the shirt over her head.

This time, I let myself look.

Then I couldn't look away.

They were perfect. Beautiful and soft looking, with nipples that were round, puckered, and seemed to be reaching out towards me. They stood upright directly in front of my eyes, full and round, but not too big, either.

Definitely, definitely perky.

My hands crept up her body gradually until they reached the bottom edge. My thumbs slowly moved over the mounded flesh as Bella took in a sharp breath. When I looked up, her widened eyes bore into me.

"Don't stop," she whispered.

My eyes stayed locked with hers as I moved forward, kissed the top of her left breast, and then moved downwards to take her nipple in my mouth. I sucked gently as my hand cupped her flesh. She tasted divine, and the skin of her breasts was as soft as it looked.

Young, innocent…

_Mine._

With all the gentlemanly thoughts expunged from my head, my tongue drew over her nipple as my hand quickly loosened my belt, ripped it from the hoops of my jeans, and I pulled the buttons open. Bella's hands were there, helping me push the denim from my hips as my hands went back to exploring her perfect tits.

Her hand found my waiting cock, and whatever resolve I had left was annihilated.

I was going to fuck a teenager.

I _felt_ like a fucking teenager.

In the light of the flickering candles, I watched her hand stroke me from tip to base. Her fingers wrapped around my girth, but didn't quite make it all the way around, and made her hand looked small as she slowly stroked upwards.

"The skin is so soft here," Bella whispered as her fingers traced over the head of my cock.

I moaned, and Bella glanced up at me with confusion on her face.

"Feels so good," I told her, and in that moment, I knew I was lost. There was no more resistance left in me to try to slow this down or stop it from happening. Maybe it was instinct, and maybe it was just lust – I didn't know. It didn't matter.

With my hands in her hair, I pulled her face to mine and crushed my mouth on hers. My tongue sought her out, found her, and laid claim. I moved forward and against her body – pushing her back into the mattress and covered her with my form.

Her hand was crushed between us, still gripping my cock, and I angled my hips to press it against her even more. The pressure hurt a little, and felt wonderful all at the same time. My hips thrust into her palm, and my hands explored her stomach and sides.

I couldn't stop. I couldn't get enough of her. The floodgates had been opened, and there was simply no way I could have pulled back, even if part of me still wanted to.

That part was now silent.

Our mouths met again, and I moved my hand down her hip enough to cup her backside. My eyes closed, and my body ached in the overwhelming desires to press against her flesh and warmth , and then to bury myself inside of her body.

I couldn't, though.

Or maybe I could have – I didn't know. I didn't know how it would all turn out, not then. If I had, would I have stopped? No, even with foresight I wouldn't have stopped what was happening.

I couldn't have.

Well, this will change everything.

* * *

**Chapter End Notes:**

This is what we call a critical failure on a fortitude saving throw.

Yeah, he's doomed.

What's that? Another clue? Where?

Nah - there isn't one. I just said that to make you go back and look.

Or did I...?

#EvilSavageIsEvil

Check out my new website - shaysavage with the usual dot and such after it. com or something. Link on my profile page. :)


	24. Chapter 24

**Author's Notes:**

******************Disclaimer:** All the Twilight stuff belongs to Stephenie Meyer. No copyright infringement is intended. I'm just borrowing her cup of sugar.

Hey all! I am back from vacation and getting the writing grove going again! Though most of my time in Chicago was spent doing the family thing and some Otherwise Occupied research, I did manage to get this mostly written while the kids were at the pool. Just a few touch ups, and here ya go! Enjoy!

**She was so young, of course she was a…a…**

* * *

**Chapter 24**

I couldn't stop.

I just couldn't.

I _had_ to do it.

It was instinct – just like Bella had alluded. Instinct to ensure the species survived. It went beyond a physical need to orgasm or even just to be close to another person. It wasn't even letting go of the frustration from holding back for so long. I didn't know what it was; I just knew I had to be with her.

_In_ her.

Bella's fingers tugged at the hair on the back of my head, and my hands moved up to her shoulders. I rose up on my knees, taking her with me, and then lay her gently in the center of the mattress. She released my cock to steady herself, which gave me the opportunity kick my jeans and boxers off all together.

Pressing my body against hers, we kissed once more before my lips made trails over her chin and neck. I licked the hollow at the base of her throat and then continued between her breasts. One hand cupped a breast while the other pushed at her shorts until they were around her ankles. A moment later, I heard them fall to the floor in a heap along with my clothes.

There was nothing between us – no clothing, no blanket, and not the pillow I had so often used to hide my desire of her from her eyes. My cock rested against her leg only briefly before I took it with my hand.

I couldn't wait – not any longer.

The end of my cock nestled up against her warm and wet opening. Her body encircled just the very end of the tip, and the exquisite feeling on my sensitive flesh sent a slight shudder through my legs. With one hand on her hip, I braced myself and thrust forward.

I was through the barrier just inside of her and sheathed completely before I even realized the situation.

Bella gasped, and her fingers dug into my shoulders.

"Oh, shit!" I held myself completely still as shock ran through my system. Whatever Neanderthal spell I had been under was broken, and my eyes widened as I leaned back and looked into Bella's. Realization about what I had just done poured over my skin like a vat of ice water.

I hadn't thought about it…hadn't known… _Should_ have known…should have _realized_…

She was so young, of course she was a…a…

I started to pull back, terror of the situation gripping me and sending my thoughts in a thousand directions at once. I didn't know if getting out of her was going to make a difference, and it felt so, so good at the same time, I didn't want to move. I should though – it would be better if I just stopped right now.

No, of course it wouldn't. What was done couldn't be undone.

My mind rambled, frayed, screamed…

I pulled back slightly, unsure of what else I should do.

"Don't stop!" Bella cried as her fingers dug into my shoulders again. Her feet slid up the backs of my thighs until her legs were around my waist, holding me against her. "Please don't stop!"

My cock was throbbing inside the tight channel of her flesh, and everything in my body wanted to listen to her. The weak spot in my mind that screamed at me to think about what I was doing was overruled by the larger, logical part that said the deed was already done.

She wasn't a virgin any longer.

I'd already taken it from her.

No turning back.

My eyes met hers, and I was as captivated by them as I was every time I looked into them. The golden honey-brown glistened back at me as a single tear dropped from the corner of her eye. I reached up and brushed it with my fingertip.

"I'm sorry," I whispered.

"Don't stop," she said again.

I shook my head slowly.

"I won't," I promised. "Are you okay?"

She nodded, and the heels of her feet dug into my backside. Her tongue darted out over her lips, and she took a long breath as I kissed her softly. The muscles of her body gripped my cock as I pulled out part way, stopping when Bella gasped at the movement inside of her.

"Don't stop," she said again.

My hips moved forward.

The slow rhythm was excruciatingly wonderful as she grew accustomed to the feeling of me inside of her. It was nearly painful to move that slowly, but the sensations rippling through my lower body made it very much worth the pace.

Our eyes stayed locked together as I moved. Her lips parted slightly as her breathing increased each time she lifted her hips from the mattress to meet me. Her body tilted up off the bed, pushing me farther inside of her and enticing me to a quicker pace.

"How long does it last?" she asked in a breathless whisper.

"As long…as I can…" I searched her eyes for more information – not sure if she wanted me to end it faster or extend it as long as I could. I didn't know how much it mattered what her preference might have been. Between the tightness of her grip around my shaft, the way her trusting honey eyes gazed up at me from the mattress, and the sheer amount of time it had been since I had been intimate with anyone, I wasn't going to be conducting any marathon sessions at this point anyway.

Her pace quickened, and I matched it as her thighs gripped my waist and her hands moved to my arms. My eyes closed as sensations rippled through my stomach and legs.

"Bella…oh, God…"

That marvelous feeling was sneaking up on me fast, and only as I reached the point of no return did I realize she hadn't had an orgasm yet. Even as the thought entered my mind, it was far too late. I tilted my head up towards the ceiling and cried out as I filled her deep inside.

Well, I was just going to have to make up for it later.

* * *

**Chapter End Notes:**

I mean...I was very, very bad, m'kay? And now I shall have to repent, m'kay? I'm really sorry, and I'll never do it aga... oh...oh...that's nice...

Damnit, forgot to make you come again!

Oh well, there's always round three...


	25. Chapter 25

**Author's Notes:**

******************Disclaimer:** All the Twilight stuff belongs to Stephenie Meyer. No copyright infringement is intended. I'm just borrowing her cup of sugar.

Hello all! Welcome back to the story! Hope you enjoyed the Professor and Bella-Ann's first interlude. Now for the aftermath!

I'm going to try to update at least twice a week going forward. Maybe I'll target Sunday and Wednesday. :)

**"How long does it take for your sperm to travel to my eggs?"**

* * *

**Chapter 25**

I remembered some song lyrics going on about how regrets were just lessons learned, but it didn't stop me from feeling like a total shit. I never fancied myself a fabulous lover of any kind, but I should have been able to be more effective than some teenager.

Note irony.

Still positioned over her body with my arms wrapped around her and my hips still pressed firmly against hers, I held her tightly against me as the waves of my orgasm receded. Through labored breaths, I pressed my face against her neck and tried to steady my heartbeat as I blathered out apologies.

"God, Bella – I am so, so sorry!"

"Why?"

"Because…because…" I stammered. I didn't know where to start – the taking of her virginity, her first time lasting all of about seven minutes, or not making her come first. I pushed myself up on my elbows so I could look down on her. "It shouldn't have been like that. I wasn't thinking…"

"Thinking about what?" Bella asked, obviously confused.

"About…about you. Your…_you know_." I didn't want to actually come out and say the word "virgin." It just sounded so…so…_biblical_.

She tilted her head to the side as she looked back at me.

"I _don't_ know," she admitted. "I have no idea what you are talking about."

I sighed and shook my head. This kind of conversation was just not something I knew how to do. I figured I would just drop it for both of our sakes. I glanced back at her, and her honey eyes stared into mine.

"It just…could have been better." I turned to her left and kissed her shoulder softly. "It was your first time, and it wasn't very good."

"It wasn't?"

"No."

"How was it supposed to be?"

I sighed and met her eyes again. I had no idea what else to say, so I just kissed her lightly instead. She didn't push me away or anything, so I figured no matter how bad it was, it hadn't been awful.

"I like the connection I feel now," she said quietly. "Will you stay inside of me for a long time?"

I laughed nervously, which shook my body just enough for me to fall out of her – right on cue. Obviously, I wasn't going to do anything right.

"Not that long, I guess." I looked to her eyes again and tried to smile. I glanced down and realized how _messy_ sex was without a condom. I had never done it without one before, and I quickly jumped out of bed to retrieve a towel from the bathroom to help clean us both off.

Bella lay on the bed and looked up at me as I sat back down beside her.

"How long does it take for your sperm to travel to my eggs?"

"Umm…"I hesitated and tried to figure out if I had heard her right. Aside from the clinical feel of the question, it wasn't exactly what I would have expected her to say right after losing her virginity. Not that I knew what a girl _should_ say after that – I'd never been with a virgin before. "I don't really know – I'm not a biology professor."

"I could feel it when your ejaculate entered me," she said, "but I can't feel it now."

"My…my ejaculate?" I shook my head. Maybe I was dreaming all of this – it even sounded surreal.

"Is that not the appropriate word?"

"Well yes, yes it is," I said, "but I think even most people _my_ age stick with the vernacular."

"The vernacular?" Bella's eyes narrowed slightly. "You mean the slang term 'cum?'"

"Uh…yeah. That's what I mean."

"Do you prefer it?"

My shoulder's tensed.

"I don' know that I have a _preference_. It's just more along the lines of what I would expect from someone your age."

Bella looked away, her face pinched with some upsetting thought. She had likely just realized now bad her first time really was, and I wondered how this was going to change our relationship. It couldn't possibly stay the same, no doubt about that.

"I really am sorry," I told her again.

"Why do you say that?" she asked.

I swallowed and felt beads of sweat trickling down the back of my neck. I reached up to wipe them away as I spoke.

"Because it was your first time, and I didn't do a very good job."

"I don't understand."

I closed my eyes as my fingers rubbed into them. She obviously wasn't going to make this easy on me.

"You didn't have an orgasm," I finally blurted out.

Bella seemed to contemplate for a moment.

"I'm not sure," she said. "It felt good to feel your penis moving inside of my vagina, and I enjoyed the warmth of the semen as it entered me, but I don't know if that qualifies as an orgasm."

I stared at her, trying to figure out what the fuck she just said.

A thousand examples of age-inappropriate terms, strange sentence structures, and overly-complex wording bounced around in my head from the last few months. Half of the words that came out of Bella's mouth were oddly formed, and it just hadn't occurred to me until she started talking about a much more intimate subject – a subject where we Americans can hardly get the slang terms out, let alone the more scientific ones.

I was worse than most people of any age when it came to casual speech, but I still would have said _cock_ and _cum, _not_ penis _and_ ejaculate_.

Bella's speech had always been so…so _adult_. Maybe my over-exposure to the university faculty or my own inadequate social nature had kept me from seeing it before, but the way Bella spoke simply wasn't normal for a girl her age. Though educated and grammatically correct, it didn't fit the way a teenage girl would speak.

There was something very, very wrong here, and it suddenly occurred to me what it might be.

Well, this was definitely going to be interesting.

* * *

**Chapter End Notes:**

I know what it is! I bet you watched nothing but PBS as a kid!


	26. Chapter 26

**Author's Notes:**

******************Disclaimer:** All the Twilight stuff belongs to Stephenie Meyer. No copyright infringement is intended. I'm just borrowing her cup of sugar.

So it's obviously Thursday, not Wednesday, so I'm already in update fail mode. It's all the fault of my list, which jumped right out of my purse yesterday and left itself at work so I had no idea what I was supposed to do.

That's my excuse, and I'm sticking to it! :P

**"You ejaculated…"**

* * *

**Chapter 26**

"Bella, may I ask you something?"

"Of course, Edward."

"You…" My voice trailed off as I tried to figure out how to best state the thoughts inside of my head. If I were to admit it, I would have to say I had been a little obtuse about her before, but I wasn't going to admit that. I scratched at the back of my head as I tried to figure out how to word what I wanted to say.

"I what?" Bella asked.

I sighed. Maybe directness was a good approach.

"You aren't really a normal person, are you?"

Maybe not.

I felt her go stiff on the bed beside me. Her eyes widened as she looked to me. Her mouth opened as if to respond, and then closed again quickly. Her fingers grasped the sheets below her as a shudder ran through her body as she quickly looked away.

I slapped my palm onto my forehead when I realized what I had just said.

"Wait – that didn't come out right at all!" I rubbed both hands over my face before I looked back at her. "I just meant, you didn't really get out much, did you?"

I shook my head again.

"That still didn't come out right."

I swallowed and scrunched my face as I tried to come up with the right words to say. I was being unbelievably stupid this evening, and I had no idea how I was supposed to salvage it now. I mean, I totally ruined her first sexual experience with my boyish behavior, and now I had practically called her a space alien.

"You said your parents home schooled you," I finally managed to say.

"Yes," she squeaked in return.

"You spent a lot of your time at home. Am I right?"

Silence.

I finally looked over to her, and found her fingers still gripping the sheets, though her body had relaxed somewhat.

"I…I don't know what you mean," she responded quietly.

"You didn't engage in a lot of socialization with other children," I said. "Your parents didn't just school you at home, you were fairly…isolated, weren't you?"

Her tongue darted out over her lips.

"Why do you say that?" she asked.

"I was just thinking about how you speak sometimes – like you are from a different age. You don't talk like a teenager, and especially just now…"

I sighed and ran a hand over my face again.

"Most of you experiences have been through books, not through life," I stated.

"Yes," she said quietly. "That is true."

Our eyes met, and there were tears in hers again. I slid closer to her and lay down before I reached over and placed my hand on the side of her face.

"It's all right," I told her. "I was never very good at those things, anyway. It's just that my parents forced me out into the world to help me get over it. Yours never did, did they?"

"Before Charles and Renee Swan disappeared and this…_disaster_ happened, I spent all of my time in that house. You were the first person I met outside of my home."

My skin chilled. Thoughts of what it must have been like for her – no one around her but her family members for years upon years – how did she cope with it all?

"But…you said you had a boyfriend before."

Her eyes darted away.

"I made it up," she admitted. "I didn't want to seem strange to you."

My thumb moved over her cheekbone as I processed what she was telling me. As awkward as I had always been, she had obviously had it much worse. What kind of parents isolated their child in such a way? My parents had done their best to make sure I could handle at least the basics with social situations, though I was never any good at it. They didn't let me use that as an excuse, though – they always pushed me farther, and I was grateful.

"What…what made my behavior abnormal?" she asked in a whisper. "Was I a poor sexual partner?"

"No!" I said quickly. "Not at all! Of course not! I mean, if anyone was inadequate tonight it was me…"

"I don't understand why you keep saying that," Bella said. "You ejaculated…"

Her eyes dropped away from me for a moment, and then she looked back into my face.

"I mean, you _came_ in me. Doesn't that make copulation successful?"

"There's supposed to be more to it than that," I said with a chuckle.

Bella turned away from me, and I figured laughing wasn't a good idea at this point, even if I was nervous. Lifting myself up on one elbow, I moved my head so she was looking right at me. My fingers moved over the side of her face and down to her shoulder.

"May I show you?" I asked. "May I show you what it was supposed to be like?

To emphasize the point, I moved my lips to the edge of her jaw, then kissed down the side of her neck.

"You want to do all of this again?" she asked.

"Yes," I told her. "Definitely."

"Are you sure?" The doubt in her eyes was painful, and I wondered how much of it had to be with my poor performance during the first time.

"I'll make you come this time," I promised.

"You will?" she asked quietly. "You still want to, even though I'm strange?"

The sadness I saw in her eyes wrapped around my heart and tried to yank it out of my chest. How many times had I felt the same way, wondering if I would be accepted though I didn't fit in with what society considered normal? How many times had the reaction of those I was with been negative?

"Yes, Bella," I whispered as my lips brushed over hers. "I absolutely accept you exactly as you are."

I moved over the top of her and covered her mouth with mine. No matter what, I was going to make sure this time was much better than before.

Well, it really couldn't be much worse.

* * *

**Chapter End Notes:**

"Ejaculate" is a funny word, regardless of font size.


	27. Chapter 27

**Author's Notes:**

******************Disclaimer:** All the Twilight stuff belongs to Stephenie Meyer. No copyright infringement is intended. I'm just borrowing her cup of sugar.

Hey all! I've been crazy busy with real life work as well as getting ready to release Surviving Raine and finishing up the writing for Otherwise Occupied. Dang! I have too much on my plate! Sorry this is so late.

I did update the summary with something a little more comprehensive than REM lyrics, if you didn't notice. It wasn't sneaky or a hint or anything - I just finally had something better to say. :)

**"Shouldn't you be touching my clitoris?"**

* * *

**Chapter 27**

_Go slow._

_Don't rush anything._

_This time has to be better._

In my life, I had only had one lover stick around long enough to tell me what I should be doing to her, and that was Kate. I wasn't sure why the others seemed to just expect men to know what they liked without any sort of direction, but Kate was the only one to ever give me any advice.

Read smut books, she had said.

I didn't really enjoy them – so many were of the exact same plot line with few twists, turns, or surprises – but I did read a few and thought I had learned a lot about what women liked in bed. Kate agreed, at least, and I quickly found that by playing out scenes the book reviewers seemed to enjoy the most, she remained pretty happy in the bedroom.

I lay to Bella's side, propped up on one elbow so I could reach her better. She looked up at me with large, round eyes, and if I had to guess, she seemed frightened now, though she hadn't the first time.

Using the backs of my fingers, I traced over the side of her face, down her neck and arm, and then up from her waist to the underside of her breast. I circled the nipple with one finger, kissed her shoulder softly, and heard her breathing increase.

"Shouldn't you be touching my clitoris?" Bella asked in a whispered voice.

"Is that what you want?"

"I…I don't know," she replied.

"Do you like this?" I asked her as my thumb ran over her nipple. I placed open mouth kissed up the edge of her throat and whispered in her ear. "Can you feel it between your legs when I do that?"

Her hips shifted a little on the mattress.

"I think so," she said as she squirmed again, rubbing her legs together a bit. "Yes."

My tongue darted over my lips, and my heart began to beat a little faster in my chest. Though it hadn't been long, my cock was at least making it known he was going to be up for another round before too long. Our lips met again, and Bella's hand gripped the back of my head as we kissed.

"I _can_ feel it," she whispered. "I…I want you to touch me more."

Her body shifted again, turning towards me and pressing against me. Using the backs of my fingers again, I ran then down the length of her body until they stopped at the short, coarse hair of her mound. I pulled back a bit to watch her face as my hand moved between her legs.

Her eyes were half closed, and her mouth was half open. With her fingers gripping my forearm, she lifted her hips a bit to push against my hand, and I took the hint.

My fingers slipped through her folds as my tongue moved against her tongue. Both were warm and wet, and I had to force myself not to get lost in the sensations. I wasn't going to take the chance of disappointing her again.

Still slick with my ejaculate, my fingers entered her easily. I moved them rhythmically, trying to memorize the rhythm of the slight movements of her hips as she rose up to meet me. My thumb moved around the outside of her clitoris, not quite touching it.

"Edward," she breathed against my mouth.

"Do you like that?" I asked her.

"Yes," she said. "More…please…"

"Anything," I replied. "Tell me what you want."

"Touch my clitoris," she said. "It feels like I…I _need_ you to touch it."

I was only too happy to oblige.

She shuddered as I rubbed against it in a slow circle, and her hips pushed up a little harder.

"Is that right?" I asked.

"More," she said. "Harder."

_Fuck me._

My breath was hot on her neck – I could feel it bouncing off her skin as I concentrated on what my hand was doing. In and out of her with one finger, then two. Every other time I moved in, I curled my fingers back and pressed with my thumb.

Bella's thighs tightened around my hand as her fingers gripped my forearm and tried to push my hand closer to her – as if that was possible. She would spread her legs to give me better access, and then close them up again as her breathing hitched. I took it as a sign to move faster, so I did.

Sweat began to collect on the back of my neck as I worked over her, and her eyes seemed glassy as she alternated between watching my hand move and just staring into space. Her chest rose and fell with quick breaths, and I could see moisture on her forehead as well.

My fingers went deeper, curled back, and she gasped.

With her head angled back against the pillow and her mouth opened, Bella panted breaths into the air as her fingers tightened their grip on my arm. Her eyes widened, she stared up at the ceiling, and tightened her thighs around my hand. I made sure not to stop of slow the movement of my thumb as I pushed and swiveled it over her sensitive flesh.

She didn't cry out – at least, not really. A sharp breath escaped her as a shiver ran up her body, and I felt her walls squeeze at my fingers. Her hips jerked a little as the shiver left her, and she dropped limp against the bed.

A moment later, her eyes glistened as she looked up at me, and I couldn't help but smile back at her.

"I liked that," she told me.

"I liked doing that," I replied with a short laugh.

"I made your hand wet," she said.

"I'm all right with that."

"I'll get you're a towel." Bella pushed herself off the bed, and I fell to my back as I watched her walk naked out of the room.

Her smooth skin screamed at me to run my hands over it again, and the way her long hair swept across her shoulder blades as she walked just made me want to follow her like a puppy dog all around the house.

Approaching forty and following a teenager around.

What was I doing?

I had completely given into the idea that this was all okay because of the situation, and there was a part of me that knew the taste was too good – I wasn't going to give it up now. Still, if I was completely honest I knew this wasn't a relationship based on equality, but her need for my protection and my need for…for…for what?

_To touch her._

_To be inside of her._

_To care for her and make her totally and completely mine._

"You're fucked," I whispered to myself.

Well, at least there was no argument there.

* * *

**Chapter End Notes:**

He said "mound" AND "ejaculate." *snicker*

I know this has been a little slow of late. I mean, it took Bella about a month to get her O! I'll try to be better. We should get more into the "Story" with the next update.

Surviving Raine release date will be announced soon! Watch for it!


	28. Chapter 28

**Author's Notes:**

**********Disclaimer:** All the Twilight stuff belongs to Stephenie Meyer. No copyright infringement is intended. I'm just borrowing her cup of sugar.

Someone suggested "Shouldn't you be touching my clitoris?" as a T-Shirt. I really think I need to have those made… stay tuned!

No time to chat - gotta get to work! :)

**"People can't feel themselves ovulate!"**

* * *

**Chapter 28**

As awkward as our first night of being actually together may have been, Bella made up for it in spades.

"Really," I insisted _again_, "you have to give me a few minutes!"

Bella straddled my naked body in the back yard of the house. She grabbed my hands and placed them over her breasts as she ground down against me and brought her mouth to mine.

She was completely insatiable.

Could a person become addicted to having an orgasm?

Our clothes were all helter-skelter around the yard, and even though I knew there was no one around to see us, it still took some coaxing the first time before I was willing to have sex outside.

"I like the way it feels," Bella panted as she rubbed against me.

"I'm not even hard anymore." Despite the obviousness of the statement, I still felt it needed to be said. Bella was not to be deterred, though, and I couldn't help but smile as she tossed her head back and came on me – again – which made me fall out of her anyway.

She was extraordinarily beautiful when she came.

"We have plenty of protein stores," Bella said as she climbed off of me and began collecting clothing from the grass, "but I'm concerned about the lack of fresh fruit. This is not the appropriate latitude for to grow many fruits."

Her ability to go from an orgasm to a totally random subject still stunned me, though she did it almost every time we finished.

"There used to be an apple orchard north of town," I said. "They may have had peaches as well, but that doesn't help with citrus."

"Are you referring to the need for Vitamin C to avoid scurvy?" Bella asked.

I chucked.

"Yes, that's what I meant."

"There is Vitamin C in blackcurrants, which should grow easily in this climate. Peppers as well. Spinach carries a small amount."

"Well, that's good to know," I said. We had plenty of peppers, and spinach grew easily.

Bella went back in the house, and I pulled up my cargo shorts and went back to weeding the garden.

There was still a strict routine to our lives – we spent most of our time preparing for the upcoming winter by gathering, growing, and storing food supplies. Nothing about that had changed, it's just that instead of stopping and having a drink of water between loads of canned goods from the looted grocery store, we stopped and fucked like rabbits in the living room.

Or the kitchen.

Or the den.

Or the front porch, the back deck, the garage, the garden, in the root cellar next to the rutabagas, or at the end of the day, in the actual bed.

I had no idea what to think of it all.

Every time we had sex, I came in side of her. No condoms, no pulling out, not even the pretense of trying to prevent the inevitable. Bella hadn't mentioned it since right before the first time, but after two weeks of nearly constant sex, I wondered how long it was going to be before she was carrying my child.

My child.

The thought brought a shiver down my spine and made me have to swallow before I could speak again.

Unmarried at nearly forty had me resigned to not having children. With both my parents gone early in my adult life and no other family to speak of, there wasn't any pressure from anyone to produce grandchildren or anything like that. I had given up on the whole idea when Kate didn't work out.

Now it was on my mind a lot, and the thought of Bella with my child inside of her made my heart beat faster and brought a smile to my lips. However, I also knew there were a hundred things that could go wrong, and I had no idea what to do about them.

The cord could get around the baby's neck, it could be breech. Bella could end up with high blood pressure, hours of painful labor with no relief, fetal distress…

What if she died in childbirth?

Even as I worried about the possibilities, I was like an addict once she touched me. The idea of seeking out some sort of birth control was never even considered.

I wanted it, dangers be damned.

Maybe there was something more instinct about it than anything else. As far as I knew, we were literally the last people on earth. Though I still doubted it – there had to be others out there somewhere – I didn't have any evidence to the contrary. Didn't it make sense to do something to preserve the species?

I gathered up all the weeds and hauled them to the compost heap at the far end of the yard. I dusted my hands off on my shorts and headed back inside to get out of the sun for a while. I could hear Bella's soft sobs coming from the bathroom as soon as I got inside.

"Bella!" I called out.

Bella never shut the bathroom door when she was in there, and I didn't understand her lack of modesty at all, though I was getting used to it. I could see her sitting on the toilet with her head in her hands as soon as I came around the corner from the living room.

"What's wrong?"

"My period started," she said as she looked up.

She shifted her butt to one side, I guess to show me the proof of the statement, which I really didn't want to see. I shook my head and looked the other way.

"Do you have bad cramps or something?"

"No." She sniffed and wiped her nose with some toilet paper. "I don't understand why it started. We have been copulating for three weeks – I should be impregnated."

I blinked a few times, suddenly quite glad I never gave into the pressure to go watch alien-themed horror movies. It was still all that came to mind when it came to that word, though – _impregnate_. Nothing inaccurate about it, but…geez, she must have been seriously isolated as a kid.

Didn't she even have the internet?

"Well…you know it doesn't always happen, right?"

"My timing was accurate," she said as she pulled one a blue box of tampons out from under the sink and inserted one while I was still in the room. "I ovulated just prior to the first time you ejaculated inside of me on the couch."

"How do you even know that?" I asked.

"I felt it." She pulled up her shorts and straightened her shirt.

"You…you what?" I suddenly felt like I was reaching the end of an Agatha Christie novel, and I didn't know why.

"I felt it."

"People can't feel themselves ovulate!" I exclaimed.

"They can't?" Bella tilted her head to one side as she looked at my quizzically.

My knees felt a little weak as her oddities, eccentricities, speech patterns, ability to learn so quickly, and the whole _end of the world _scenario began to piece itself together inside my head. Where there was randomness of shapes and colors, a picture began to form.

_I will now reveal to you the name of the killer!_

"What…what…" I stammered. I forced more air into my lungs. "Bella…why did you say 'they'?"

Her eyes went wide, and she looked around the small room like she needed a way to escape.

"It was…um…I…"

"Bella?"

She looked to the ground, her posture tense. She moved slowly towards me, shifted around me, and then ran from the house.

Well, this was…this was…what the fuck was this?

* * *

**Chapter End Notes:**

Somebody give the boy a Scooby Snack!

Surviving Raine release date - May 21st! Cover reveal very, very soon! Watch my website (link on my profile) for more info!


	29. Chapter 29

**Author's Notes:**

**********Disclaimer:** All the Twilight stuff belongs to Stephenie Meyer. No copyright infringement is intended. I'm just borrowing her cup of sugar.

Ummm...hi there! Remember me? I'm that reliable updater...um...yeah. That's me. *embarrassed*

Sorry all, life is just like that some times. There's post on my blog if you want to hear all the excuses. :) Thanks for all the reviews, and as far as actually being able to feel yourself ovulate, Mittelschmerz is a thing Edward doesn't know about.

Back to the crazy!

**I was _pissed_, that's what.**

* * *

**Chapter 29**

I didn't know how long I stayed in the bathroom staring at the empty doorway and trying to understand what had just happened. By the time I came to my senses and followed Bella's path outside, she was nowhere to be found. I called her name repeatedly, walked around the block, and even checked the grocery and hardware stores, but found nothing.

I didn't know what to do.

I didn't know what to think.

There were so many thoughts going through my head, and I couldn't even come close to putting them all together. I wasn't sure if I was supposed to continue to look for her, or wait until she returned home. It had been hours since she rushed off, and I was finding it hard to understand what I was feeling.

What if she didn't come back?

Why did she react the way that she did? Whatever was going on, it wasn't as simple as Bella's isolation as a child – there had to be more to it. She didn't seem to consider herself a member of the same species, which didn't make any sense at all. Had her parents done that to her? Made her believe she was…what? Less than human?

The idea brought out some rather unusual and fierce feelings inside of me. The idea of someone doing something to her like that – making her feel less when she was so obviously the most intelligent and beautiful young woman – angered me beyond anything I had ever felt before.

I was _pissed_, that's what.

Then again, she said she felt herself ovulate, which was completely ridiculous…wasn't it? Regardless, when I questioned her, the reaction was downright bizarre. Why would she run away?

_They_.

She referred to people as _they, _and when I thought about it, I realized it wasn't the first time she had done so. She had made similar comments about nutrition for humans.

Other tidbits were finding their way into my brain – similar phrases that were beyond just a style of speaking or something that could be the result of isolation. She obviously didn't consider herself like other people. Could it be that her parents made her think that way? There was obviously something very wrong with the whole situation, but what was it?

Anger changed to confusion and then concern when I came back to the house and she wasn't there. I stood in front of the living room window that looked out over the street and watched for movement, but there was no sign of her. As the sky began to darken, I decided I had to do something. I walked back to the grocery store and the library in vain. Without knowing where else to go, I found myself outside my office.

She was in there, standing motionless and staring at intensely at the ancient Senet set on the shelf. Her dark hair lay across her shoulders and down her back, and I could see dampness on her cheeks in the dim light from the window.

"Bella?"

For a long moment, she didn't respond. Instead, she reached out and touched the blue ceramic pieces.

"I enjoyed playing this game with you," she said. "I'm not sure if I will miss that the most, or if it I will miss the feeling inside of me when you ejaculate more."

I took a few steps inside my office and reached out my hand. I wasn't really close enough to reach her, and felt hesitant to make contact. My hand dropped back to my side.

"What are you talking about?" I asked. "Bella, I don't understand – where do you think you are going?"

She finally turned to me, and her eyes held so much grief I could barely look at her. Her sorrow hit me in the chest, and I didn't know if I should gather her up in my arms and cry with her, or figure out who had made her feel this way and beat the ever-loving shit out of them.

It was a strange feeling, but not as strange as the next words from Bella's mouth.

"I have failed," she said quietly. "They will come for me now."

"Failed?" I questioned, wrinkling my brow. "Failed what?"

"I did not meet your expectations of a human woman," she said. "I will have to be replaced."

Well, I had been wondering if…um…what?

* * *

**Chapter End Notes:**

I know this is CRAZY short, but hang in there - the chapter just hit a logical end point. I'm writing the next chapter now! Hope to have it up later today!

Surviving Raine releases on May 21st, and I just finished Otherwise Occupied, which should release in June! Woot!

Happy Mother's Day!


	30. Chapter 30

**Author's Notes:**

**********Disclaimer:** All the Twilight stuff belongs to Stephenie Meyer. No copyright infringement is intended. I'm just borrowing her cup of sugar.

Does the extra quick update make up for the long delays? :)**  
**

FFN isn't sending any emails, so I'm pretty much not getting any reviews. I know they are there, and I thank you for them! :)

**Understatement of…well, of forever.**

* * *

**Chapter 30**

I blinked.

I blinked again.

I squeezed my eyes shut, shook my head violently, blinked twice more for good measure, and looked at the young woman who had just spoke the strangest words I had heard come out of her mouth to date. And considering the source, that was saying quite a lot.

"Who?" I finally uttered. "Who would replace…?"

I wasn't even sure what the rest of the actual question was supposed to be.

Bella's eyes glanced to the window and up at sky.

"My…my kind."

A warm, tingling, wholly uncomfortable feeling of dread slowly covered me from shoulders to thighs. I couldn't swallow, and my previously working eyelids seemed to have become paralyzed. My stomach clenched and I could taste bile in the back of my throat.

Her _kind_?

"Homeschooled kids?" I heard myself say as I took a short step backwards, collided with the wall, slid down, and ended up landing on my ass next to the office door.

My head swam, little spots began to form in front of my eyes and the warm, tingling feeling moved up to my brain and I felt like I was going to pass out. I leaned against the door a bit, and tried to put her words together in my head.

"What's your kind?" I asked in a barely audible whisper.

The look in her eyes ached in my chest.

"It was an accident," she said quietly. "We need the materials – the metals. We look for planets without sentient life and take when we need from them, but you are so different from what we are and what we have seen before. There was never a mistake like this one in our long mining history."

My eyes stayed locked with hers, and though I heard her words and understood them individually, they made no sense to me as they were put together. I only stared at her and tried not to lose consciousness.

"Many of the life forms here didn't register on our explorative equipment. You vertebrates are so strange to us – your composite of water, carbon, and minerals – we didn't understand what you were until it was too late."

"Too…too late?" I stammered.

"We were sent to collect six materials – gold, bronze, diamond, quartz, steel, and iron," she continued. "When the collection was nearly complete, your atmosphere began to change. We realized we were killing many of the living creatures here. We had never known a species to need iron to survive before."

"Iron?" I repeated dumbly.

"You have too much." Bella's mouth turned into a slight smile. "We didn't know at the time why you survived, but I believe your condition is what saved you. By the time we stopped the collection, it was too late for the others. Their bodies could no longer oxygenate blood, and there was nothing we could do to stop them from dying."

_Dying._

She meant the people – all the people and the other animals on the planet. They were all dead because some giant space ship collected all the iron. They must have all died of extreme anemia. It was ridiculous. It was surreal. It was insane.

I looked around for the ghost of Douglas Adams, but didn't see him anywhere.

"Where are they?" I asked, clearing my throat. "Where are all the people…the…the bodies?"

"We didn't want you to be frightened," she said. "We wanted to try to restore your world as best we could while you remained unconscious. We tried to put everything back they way it should be, but we realized we couldn't fix it all."

"The cars?"

"We tried to replicate what we could," she said. "We weren't very successful. Your technology is very strange to us."

I shook my head to clear it.

"Bella…" I looked up to her face as my stomach turned upside down inside of me. "I don't…I don't understand."

Understatement of…well, of forever.

She turned towards where I sat on the floor and took a few steps closer. My hands pushed against the hardwood floors, shoving my shoulder into the doorjamb. Bella stopped, and her eyes moved away from mine.

"I was supposed to help rebuild your planet," she said, "but I haven't been what you needed me to be. I was supposed to blend in, and you were not to realize I was not really one of you. I failed. I failed again."

She looked back to me.

"I'm sorry, Edward," she said. "I wanted…I wanted to be whatever it was you needed. I just didn't know how. I'm sorry."

What I needed?

Still in turmoil, I knew I needed to get my shit together and wrap my head around what she was saying. As it was, I was only grasping a portion of it. If I was hearing all this right, Bella wasn't a teenage, homeschooled, human girl, but an alien…_something_…that came to Earth to help repair the damage her alien race had accidentally done. Now she was going to leave because she wasn't the alien I needed.

What did I need? What was I even thinking now? Was I actually starting down some path of dementia, or had I been here the whole time? Could any of what she was saying be true?

Yes, of course it was. In fact, now everything made a lot more sense.

My girlfriend was an alien.

She was actually so different from me that her kind hadn't even recognize humans and other mammals as life forms at all. They needed metals, and everyone died because all the iron in their bodies was somehow removed through whatever advanced technologies they had.

My girlfriend was an alien, and it just didn't even matter.

"Bella," I said as I looked to her face.

Tears covered her cheeks again as I tried to push myself up off the floor, but my legs weren't cooperating and I slumped back. I reached out towards her with my hand.

"Bella," I said again, "you are exactly what I need."

Well, now it was her turn to drop to the floor.

* * *

**Chapter End Notes:**

So, um...are you gonna show me your tentacles now?


	31. Chapter 31

**Author's Notes:**

**********Disclaimer:** All the Twilight stuff belongs to Stephenie Meyer. No copyright infringement is intended. I'm just borrowing her cup of sugar.

Busy busy busy! Working on the Surviving Raine release for Tuesday! Watch my website, blog, twitter, facebook, amazon - whatever. I'll let you all know when it's available!

**"I don't think you can believe everything you read in Cosmopolitan."**

* * *

**Chapter 31**

I reached out my hand, but couldn't quite get there before Bella crumpled to the floor. I ended up crawling over to her, reaching around her back, and pulling her up into my lap as I leaned against the wall of my office.

Holy shit, this has to be a dream.

Her honey-colored eyes fluttered as she got herself back together. As soon as I looked at them, I knew they weren't right. They weren't _normal_. I'd never seen anyone with eyes that color, and I should have known there was something wrong.

Her cooking, the odd cadence of her speech, the lack of modesty and social skills…I should have known it the whole time.

I didn't though, because I was just as backwards as she was. I just didn't have a decent excuse.

"Edward?" she whispered.

I leaned over, took her face with one hand, and placed my lips over hers.

"I don't care," I told her. "Maybe it's crazy, and maybe it's because I'm not any better at being human than you are, but I don't care."

"Y-y-you don't?"

"I don't." I kissed her again. "Besides, you're all I have."

"I was deceitful," she said. "Are you concerned that you can no longer trust me?"

My eyes narrowed slightly.

"Why do you ask that?"

"I read about it," she replied. "I read an article that said if you lose your partners trust through deception and lies, it can be nearly impossible to gain it back."

"Where did you read this?" I asked.

"Cosmo," Bella replied.

I laughed.

"I don't think you can believe everything you read in Cosmopolitan."

"It has been a tremendous source of knowledge regarding human male behavior," Bella argued. "It has been right about everything."

"Oh really? Like what?"

"When I began to practice the recommended seduction techniques, you responded in a predictable fashion."

I tilted my head and considered what she was telling me.

"You…you seduced me?"

She returned my quizzical gaze.

"I had to," she said, "otherwise we would not have had intercourse. I'm glad I did. I didn't realize how good it would feel. Will you…"

Her voice trailed off, and I had to prompt her several times before she would continue her thought.

"Will you still participate in sexual acts with me?" she asked quietly.

My body stiffened a little out of reflex. As I looked down at the girl in my lap, she was young, beautiful, and perfect – but what was she really? Did it matter?

"What do you look like?" I asked. "I mean – _really_ look like?"

"There are no words humans use to describe what we are," she replied. "I'm not sure where to start."

"I just wondered how I would know if…if you kind show up here."

"They will not show themselves," she replied.

"You said…you said they were going to replace you," I remembered.

"They would," Bella confirmed, "if I had contacted them. I have not."

"Oh." I leaned my head back against the wall. "I thought you had."

"I didn't want to leave you," she whispered. "The thought of going and leaving you behind created the strangest sensation in my chest and stomach. Every time I considered contacting my kind, I couldn't bring myself to do it. Why is that?"

"I'm not sure exactly," I said.

Though I wasn't exactly lying, the idea that she found it difficult to leave was something I liked hearing. My arm curled around her back and brought her closer to my chest. The other hand trailed up and down her arm. As my mind wandered around trying to figure out why I was really feeling relatively calm about all of this, I leaned over and pressed my lips to the top of her head.

"Bella?"

"Yes?"

"How do you…how did you…get to look like you do now?"

"I was formed," she said simply.

"Formed?"

"Using the replicated DNA of an existing human female, this body was formed to be as she was before her death. My consciousness was then added to the form."

"So where is your actual body? What does it look like?" I couldn't stop my arms from tightening up a bit – a natural, physical reaction to the anxiety of her possible answers. Would you have green skin, or a big head with bulgy eyes? Maybe she was tall and spindly and with translucent skin. She could have even had four arms, six fingers, or maybe tentacles.

"We don't have what you would think of as a body," she said. "We are – in words you know – light…energy… the collection of energy as it transforms into matter and back again."

"Oh," I said. I had to admit, I was a little disappointed. Tentacles seemed kind of…_intriguing_.

I shook the thought from my head.

"Can we go back home now?" I asked. "I'm kind of hungry."

Bella's eyes turned to mine, and she looked at me for a long moment before answering.

"You want me to go back with you?" she asked. "Are you certain?"

"Very," I responded.

"You don't…you don't care that I am not like you?"

I shook my head from side to side.

"I don't know how I could do all this without you," I told her. "You are the one and only _being_ in my life. I don't really care if you were _formed_ instead of _born_. I'm not sure what difference it makes now, anyway. There's no one else left."

Bella looked away from me quickly, and I furrowed my brow.

"Bella?"

She didn't look back to me.

"Bella, are there…are there others?"

"Yes," she replied.

"Where?"

"Many places," she admitted. "Some on this continent, some on others. There were only forty-seven we managed to save."

"Forty-seven," I repeated. "Are they…are they alone?"

"No," she replied. "They all have been given companions."

"Those like you – others who had bodies formed for them."

"Essentially," she said. "Some took male form, others female based on the gender of the survivor. There are three homosexuals, though they have still been paired with the opposite sex. We want to help you to rebuild your population."

"Huh," I muttered. "I wonder if they've done better than I did."

Bella tilted her head, and I shrugged.

Well, they couldn't really have done worse.

* * *

**Chapter End Notes:**

Oh yeah - he's totally into the tentacle idea... you know it, baby! You show me yours and I'll show you mine!

Umm...I don't know what that means. It's been a long day.


	32. Chapter 32

**Author's Notes:**

**********Disclaimer:** All the Twilight stuff belongs to Stephenie Meyer. No copyright infringement is intended. I'm just borrowing her cup of sugar.

Any excuses I have will be lame. It has been a ridiculously long time since I updated this, and I can only blame life itself. I will endeavor to be better, but I have a crazy number of projects going on right now, and I can't seem to balance them like I usually do.

Thanks for all the reviews - glad people are still paying attention despite the lack of movement lately!

**Why indeed?**

* * *

**Chapter 32**

My fingers twined with Bella's as we walked from my office back to the house.

The clouds in the sky were wispy and light, and I was glad it didn't appear we were going to have another rainstorm. Though I did like how Bella tended to cling to me in her sleep when there was thunder outside.

"So, when you sleep, are you really asleep?" I asked. "I mean, does your kind sleep, or do you just pretend?"

"We don't lose consciousness like you do, no," Bella said. "But here – in this body – I am just like any human woman. This body and mind tire, and I fall asleep just as you do. The images in my head were very strange to me at first. I thought there was something wrong with me."

"Dreams can be weird even when you are expecting them," I agreed. "If you didn't know there were coming, it could be rather frightening."

"I wasn't frightened, exactly," Bella said. "I've only really been frightened once."

"When was that?" I asked.

"When I thought you would ever want me," Bella admitted. "It seemed no matter what I did, you were never going to agree to copulate with me, even when you obviously had some desire to do it."

"The desire was always there," I told her. "I just…didn't want to act on it."

Our fingers tightened around each other's simultaneously.

I didn't know what was going on in my head. There was certainly a large part of me that knew I should be screaming and running for the hills. How else are you supposed to act when the girl you've been sleeping with suddenly reveals that she's not even formed out of the same molecules as you?

And I had been worried about the age difference.

"Bella?"

"Yes?"

"So, how old are you? I mean – how old are you really?"

Her eyes held mine, and there was a sparkle in them.

"Older than you," she said with a smirk. "Does that mean you'll stop worrying about taking advantage of me?"

"Maybe," I admitted with a shrug, "but if we ever run into anyone else I'll probably still freak out about it."

Bella went quiet for a moment and then looked back to my face.

"Eighteen in the age of consent here in this region, correct?" She raised her eyebrows at me, challenging.

"True," I admitted, "but that's typically seen as the age of consent for another eighteen year old, not an old man like me."

I grinned down at her and tightened my grip on her hand.

"You are a mature male in your prime," Bella said. "Why would a young woman desire a boy?"

My gaze shifted back to her, and I stared into her honey eyes as I thought about it. It wasn't the question itself, but the simplicity of the question. So much of what I had always done and believed was based on how I thought others might perceive it. How often did I not do something just because I thought someone might not approve? She was consensual, obviously, so why did the age difference matter when I was able to provide for her much more effectively than a man half my age and with half my experiences?

Why indeed?

"It's more of a social stigma," I said. I didn't elaborate, because every argument that came into my head sounded ridiculous. I didn't even believe any of it myself any longer, and every point was easily countered before I could speak it. "Is it common from your kind to have significant age differences in your relationships?"

Bella looked away from me and continued down the road. She shook her head a few times, but I eventually prompted her enough to go on.

"We don't really have…_age_ as you would understand it," she informed me. "We are energy – light. We exist. There is no time. There are also no relationships, as you put it."

"No relationships?" I was sure I had misunderstood.

"We are androgynous, I suppose you would say. We do not breed as humans and other species do. We have come across those that procreate in such a way, but we do not. We are formed from energy – they stuff of the universe. Not cells that duplicate themselves over and over again to form different tissue types based on a genetic code."

"This is all completely new to you then, isn't it?" I asked.

"Yes," she said with a nod. "That's why I read the magazines and the books. I hoped they would give me an idea of how I could entice you."

"It worked."

"Yes, it did." She smiled, and I was fairly certain I saw her cheeks tinge with red.

I blinked a few times as I tried to figure out just what she was saying about her kind, but I still couldn't really comprehend. I'd gone from having a perfectly normal – if young and a tad eccentric – human girlfriend to having a…a…a whatever she was – in just a handful of hours. I had no idea how I was supposed to react.

So I reacted like any typical male would.

"So you really were a virgin, at least?"

Well, a guy does like to know these things.

* * *

**Chapter End Notes:**

As long as I'm the first dude to get all up in there, it's good!

You know they think like that. They totally do.

If you haven't been paying attention, Surviving Raine is available on Amazon as an eBook, will soon be available in paperback as well, and Otherwise Occupied (sequel to Otherwise Alone) comes on June 18th, 2013! Links on my profile!


	33. Chapter 33

**Author's Notes:**

**********Disclaimer:** All the Twilight stuff belongs to Stephenie Meyer. No copyright infringement is intended. I'm just borrowing her cup of sugar.

I'm lame and slow and sometimes real life just sucks!

**I would have tweeted that shit.**

* * *

**Chapter 33**

With her hands gripping my shoulders, and her warm breath on my neck, I slid inside of her. For a moment, I closed my eyes and just stayed there – reveling in the feeling of her flesh surrounding mine. When Bella's fingers grazed over my cheek, I opened my eyes and looked into her golden irises.

I smiled to myself at my own inability to see it before – her unusualness. There had been so many signs, and I had simply ignored them. Now I only saw them as part of her – and everything about her was perfect.

Well, perfect for me, anyway.

"Are you all right?" she asked quietly. Her fingers moved from my shoulder to the side of my face, the corners of her mouth tightened, and she looked at me with worry in her eyes.

"I'm fine," I reassured her. "Better than fine. Perfect. It feels perfect. _You_ feel perfect. I want to stay just like this forever, if that's all right with you."

I smiled down at her as she moved her hand back to my shoulder.

"Edward," Bella said seriously, "I know I must be very careful to not insult your masculinity, and you certainly have better than average stamina and refractory period given your age-range, but I don't believe it's possible to stay like this for more than a few hours."

Resisting the urge not to laugh, I touched the side of her cheek with the back of my hand, smiled slightly, and shook my head.

"You are undoubtedly right," I said. "Shall we at least try to set a record?"

Her smile was glorious.

"Yes, please."

I aimed to please. When I was done with that set of pleasing, I aimed to please again. I wasn't sure if it was a record or not, only that Bella complained about being sore the next morning. It was the first time in my life I wished I had a Facebook account or one of those other social media things. If I had, I would have told the world, even though there wasn't anyone around to read it.

I would have tweeted that shit.

Whatever that actually means.

It made me feel a little odd to admit it – like I had these bizarre caveman tendencies that had always been buried inside of the intellectual part of me, but never quite surfacing until she was there, bringing it out in me. I wanted the whole world to know that I was having sex with her. I wanted to call out to the world and tell everyone who was left that she was mine.

It was so different from how I had felt when I didn't look past her age.

Hell, now I looked right past her _species_. Age really didn't seem to matter anymore – only that she belonged to me and me alone. Even if age did matter, I wouldn't have cared what people thought – if there had been anyone around to have an opinion. It was probably best there weren't any others around. If there had been other males, I had the feeling I might very well have challenged them to a duel.

And I don't know how to use a sword.

Or a gun.

It wouldn't matter.

If another man wanted her or tried to take her from me, I was fairly certain I would react violently. If someone threatened her in any way, I would probably lose my mind. I had never thought about it before, and had never quite felt that way about a woman before, and I wasn't sure how to react to the strange feelings inside of me. My muscles tensed, my teeth clenched, and my hands felt the need to wrap around the neck of a foe that wasn't even there.

What was I thinking?

I shook my head from side to side rapidly to clear the thoughts.

"Would you like me to make dinner?" Bella asked with a smile as she walked into the house through the sliding back door. The sleeve from her tank top was falling off her shoulder, and in her hands were vegetables from the box garden.

_Beautiful._

"I'll do it," I said. I quickly took the food from her hands before she had the chance to do something weird with it. I hadn't actually told her how bad her cooking was – I really didn't want to hurt her feelings. I also didn't want to get indigestion.

I pulled out a cheap aluminum pan designed for cooking over a campfire and got the propane camp stove started up. It had been one of our better finds over the summer, and had made cooking everything much easier. As long as I could just keep Bella from "helping" with the spices, all would be good.

As I waited for water to boil, I chopped up onions, peppers, and a few potatoes from the root cellar. I cooked up a batch of rice, stir-fried the vegetables, added part of a jar of ginger sesame flavored sauce, and mixed with the vegetables in the pan. I hummed a little as I stirred and flipped the concoction, and it began to smell pretty good.

My stomach growled, and I smiled a little as I thought about why dinner was so late. Bella admitted to being sore, but all I could think about was how fabulous it felt to be inside of her. I totally ignored the ache in my lower back from the strenuous "work outs."

"Edward?"

"Hmm?" I continued to flip vegetables over and over again in the pan. I could hear Bella shuffle up to my side as I worked, but I kept my focus on the food.

"It worked."

"What worked?" I grabbed a little salt and oregano from the cabinet and sprinkled it around the pan. A little rice added in made it start to smell even better than it had before.

"You have impregnated me."

The vegetables, pan, spices, and spatula flipped up into the air and all over the floor.

Well, that wasn't expected.

* * *

**Chapter End Notes:**

Mmmm...hmmm...got me a little bun in that oven. Is it a bun? Maybe a bagel. Or a loaf of something.

What the fuck does that mean, anyway? Who decided to compare a baby to a rising bit of yeast and flour? And you're sitting back judging a dude for effin' an alien. Admit it.

In case you haven't been paying attention thus far, Surviving Raine is available on Amazon both in eBook and paperback now.

**Otherwise Occupied (Sequel to Otherwise Alone) will be available for FREE as an eBook from July 4th-July 6th 2013! Make sure you get your copy this weekend!**


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